WHMP: 2 August 2017

Weigh in Wednesday!

I missed last weeks weigh in due to my unplanned “holiday” so this week is a double! I was slightly nervous about how the scales were going to read given the up and down nature of the last 2 weeks including a period of almost 6 days where I was nil by mouth.

Last fortnight – 3.6kg
Since surgery – 49.8kg
Total – 68.7kg

This weigh in has been a big of sparkle and positivity that I needed as I’m not in my normal headspace and am feeling a bit down and dark. Today I am also under 20kg…..infact only 17kg off my next scale related target which is when I will go down a obesity category.

I had a rough night last night. Lachlan and I slept in the spare room together and he obviously missed me since he pretty much slept on top of my head so I couldn’t get away. I had a pain episode hit at about 2am at which I didn’t want to wake the sleeping child next to me so I managed to slide out of bed and crawl out of the room and shut the door. I then just sat on the floor in the hallway and silently grunted, panted and cried my way through the pain episode until it passed, which would have been about 10-15 minutes.

Otherwise I had a pretty eventless day with only another 2 episodes hitting across the day. I have struggled with any food today everything making me feeling bloated and nauseous even with the fact I am only eating about 1/2 of the already tiny portion I was having before whatever is going on started going on. I have been going back to “soft stage” foods to try and make them easier to digest for Percy and man on man has he been crazy noisy and vocal with massive rumbles and grumbles in the last few days.

I had a phone call from Flinders Private Hospital today and confirmed that I need to be at hospital at 9.30am fasting from midnight and no water after 7am. My endoscopy is scheduled with Lilian (my sleeve surgeon) for late morning/early afternoon. It is anticipated that it’s a same day theatre admission so I should be coming home tomorrow night but since I am a planner I will have a bag packed with the essentials in it in case Jamie needs to bring it in for me.

I am actually crapping myself about tomorrow. I’m so nervous and scared it’s not funny! I’m not scared about going into theatre that doesn’t phase me in the slightest. I’m not scared about having to weigh in at the hospital when I’m admitted and I’m not scared about Lilian finding something. This is because if something is found then we can get an action plan together to treat and or manage whatever is going on!!

What I am scared about is the endoscopy NOT finding an answer for the constant pain and the random episodes of acute pain. I am scared that without an answer it’s 10 days later and I am still without an answer and still having to cope with this pain and the awful flat, washed out, dizzy and lightheaded and feeling that I have everyday. I’m so grateful that Jamie has taken carers leave to continue taking the lead with looking after Lachlan and to look after me as the though of me driving frightens me since I can’t even walk down the hallway without have a dizzy spell or wobbly legs.