WHMP: 12 November 2017

Today was my nieces first ever dance recital, it was very exciting to see my little girl strutting her stuff in extreme cuteness! But I have to admit whenever I catch up with my sister my normal wardrobe anxiety goes through the roof!

I have no idea why this happens…..maybe it’s my own insecurities, maybe it’s because she hasn’t given me much verbal feedback on how I’m going and looking, maybe it’s a sister thing? I don’t know but what I do know is that I freak out like a mad women and change my outfit at least 10 times before I leave, which usually makes me late for whatever I am doing. This morning I settled on denim skirt and a floaty top from Target, and not just any Target Top but a top from the general sizes section and not the fat Tarts section.

When I got there my mum, nephew and brother in law where sitting out the front waiting for the doors to open. I was walking up to the table and was waving at my brother in law, he was looking my direction and it wasn’t until I had walked for at least 100 metres closer that he realised it was me and waved back again.

As I got closer I could see my nephew looking my direction and I could hear my Mum saying to him “she over that way in a white top” and it wasn’t until I was a metre directly in front of him and I said “hi Max” that he recognised that it was me.

Once we got into the theatre and found our seats I got to experience a new NSV. It was the standard issue fold down auditorium seating and I folded the seat down and comfortably sat and my arse did not, I repeat did not spill over the sides to cover half of the seat either side of me too. I comfortably sat and didn’t feel like a squished sardine who was encroaching on the person next to me’s space too.

Even during intermission when the lady next to me went out, the seat next to me folded up as it was designed to, previously my bum from spilling over would keep the seat next to me in the downward position. I just felt like a normal person in the crowd and not that person that everything things “shit I hope I am not sitting next to her”.

We had slow cooked lamb shanks for dinner tonight, this is one my all time favourite meals! And it’s a great meal for me to reflect on how drastically my portion sizes have changed! Pre-surgery I would have comfortably knocked off a lamb shank on a bed of mashed potato no questions asked. Tonight I pinch 40g of meat off of my Mum’s shank with a bit of green veg and even that was too much! It’s crazy how drastically my meal sizes have changed and how badly I used to overeat before for what my body actually needs to function.