WHMP: 7 December 2017

Wow what a busy busy stressful day!!

My day was supposed to start at 5.20am when my alarm went off to go to my PT session with Anita, however my day instead started at 2am with a bad news email! Today was a big day for me at work with the production of a promotional video for the project I am working on. At 2am I found out that one of my stars on the film wasn’t available at the last minute…..stress kicked in and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I should have known after my 2am start it was going to be one long arsed day!

Off I went to my PT session doing my warm up on the bike and then “smashed out” (using Anita’s words) my PT session. I decided to finally downsize my gym top after several wardrobe malfunctions of my old gym top and it meant that I was missing the comfort of the length of my previous tent top so was feeling that both Bertha and I were VERY exposed.

I then had to go home, shower and get going within 20 minutes and be back on the road again to get to filming for work on the other side of Adelaide.

The solution I came up with for my people pulling out of filming was something that was completely terrifying and beyond out of my comfort zone! I put myself up to be filmed to talk about the project instead.

What crazy things were going through my head….how huge would I look on the film? How many chins do I have? Is it on a good angle to make me look thinner? Will I look like a bumbling idiot? Yes I look good to anyone who knew me this time last year over 80kg heavier than I am now but do I look ridiculously huge to someone who doesn’t know me and my story.

Regardless of how nervous and uncomfortable I felt, I did it and now I have to wait to see the finished product and hope I haven’t embarrassed myself!

I had to leave filming a little bit earlier than the production wrap up as I then had to trek back across Adelaide back to Flinders for my 12 month post op appointments (2 weeks early). First up I saw Kiki – the Bariatric GP as a part of my surgeons program, she was elated with my progress and how far I have come advising me I am between 2-3 months ahead of where I was expected to be at this point in time post surgery.

I explained that I am frustrated and mentally struggling with the overall length of the journey and just wanting to be further along than I am. She expressed that these are normal feeling particularly for people (like me) who start of the extreme weight spectrum but I have to remember my starting point and I have to be patient and trust in the process and trust in myself. Stop and celebrate my achievements and progress along the way. And while I know all of this, it really is much easier said than done! But I will continue to try….

In between my appointments I ran into Lilian (my surgeon) in the corridor and it was until someone said my name that she realised it was me. It’s slightly amusing someone has known me intimately enough to see me from my insides, not once, not twice but three times doesn’t actually recognise my face.

I then met with Nick, my dietician, we went through my food journal and he was over the moon with the food choices, macros achieved and fluid levels. I was honestly expecting to be “told off” for the amount of coffee I can consume within a day, however it’s apparently a stroke of genius in the way I can increase my protein levels by using protein powder and using my coffee machine instead of buying an all milk latte to keep the calories down.

So to recap of my macro targets. While my protein levels are great I need to slightly increase them due to my heavier impact and higher intensity gym work. So my new target is 80-100g protein. Calories to maintain at between 800-1100. Carbs to be under 70g a day on a carby day but generally try to keep under 50g where possible.

My food diary has me meeting all my goals and doing all the right things, right choices and perfect portion control. BUT for the next couple months so that I don’t get numbers fatigue and because I am travelling well to give my food diary a break and continue on my path of making smart everyday choices. Stay focused and stay true to myself on the path I have laid for myself. The food diary will always be there if and when I feel like I need to get back on track again.

So it was a long, busy, stressful, confronting yet rewarding day! PT Session done, Productions done, putting myself out of my comfort zone done, 2 of my 3 12 month appointments done. And what better thing to come home to than a letter confirming my public plastic referral has been accepted and I have been added to the wait list for an appointment.

Now to lose this last 40kg so I can get all this extra skin that’s doing my head chopped off and never to be seen again.