WHMP: 17 March 2018

I generally try to keep my posts uplifting, positive and inspiring….today is not one of those posts. Today is all about realness!

To start with I will get the statistics out of the way. At Wednesday’s weigh in this week

This week – 1.1kg

Total – 90kg

90-freaking-kg LOST. Wow just wow….I can’t even fathom!

So coming to the realness of today’s post. Today my body is not enjoying the by-product of extreme weight loss!

SKIN…..

My normal Saturday morning routine is to get up early and head to the gym for my biggest and largest workout of the week. I always look forward to my Saturday morning session at the gym.

Today I did not go. Today I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t endure the pain and discomfort that I have in my body at the moment. My lower back is very badly aching from the “shake rattle and roll” effect of the excess skin during exercise. My belly button has flared up again and is at the point of bleeding again and the rash under my apron is red raw and beyond painful when anything brushes against it let alone making it endure the intensity of exercise.

I knew heading into surgery that I would have excess skin and I knew that it was going to cause problems. I said to myself I would be ok with the skin and I would wear proudly as a badge of honour or as a sign of my achievements. I can honestly say that I have tried to do that but I can’t. So let’s have a snap shot of where I am at with my skin……

MENTALLY – I am ok with the skin mentally as I knew it was coming and I know it’s only temporary until I can have it removed. Even though I’m impatient as hell and I want it gone now I know that it took me 30 years to get to the point I was pre-surgery that it’s not going to instantly be resolved overnight. Mentally I’m in transient mode knowing that it’s only short term

VISUALLY – with clothes on and when it’s sucked and tucked into my spanx the skin doesn’t bother me hugely. The shape of Bertha bothers me but again I know it’s temporary and I’m trying to learn to dress and work around the beast that Bertha is. Without clothes I am officially a horrific beast, I look revolting. I was expected that once I lost weight I would look better, but in all honesty I feel like I looked before before when my skin was full and my skin was smooth.

PHYSICALLY – as I have already mentioned I am struggling with the pain. I have tried every cream and every remedy that has been recommended to me. Which at least count is 23 different things and not one manages the clear and manage the rashes, discomfort and pains that I am living with.

I am so very grateful for my new lease on life and for me being a happier healthier and more active person. I am so very grateful for my sleeve being the tool I needed for me to make the life style changes I have made.

But I need to be real, the extreme weight loss does have some unintended consequences that for realness and being true to this journey I need to talk about it. Having said that even with these down sides I wouldn’t change things in a heartbeat. How on earth can I be unhappy with the fact I am no long heading towards an early grave due to morbid obesity.