Steps, steps and moreeeeeee steps today.

I was intending to go to the gym this morning but instead Mum and I decided to go for a walk with Lachlan. Off we went to the “Vines to Coast” tracks as I knew there were some playground stop off along the way.

It really is such a beautiful walk that doesn’t even remotely seem like your in the middle of the city.

On the way home we stopped off at the local shopping centre and after hitting up the shops getting everything we needed we went to the little Chinese restaurant in the mall. I am such a cheap date these days, for $5 I got a chicken and corn soup and a spring roll…..with a take home doggy bag!

Getting home continued on my current rampage of energy in the getting the gardens under control at home and spent over an hour doing heavy duty gardening, weed pulling, planting herbs and spraying the weeds. Followed up by about 4 loads of laundry! Life and managing being a domestic goddess is so much easier with all this next new energy.

Tonight Jamie and I had a night out kiddie free with 2 other couples that are our closest friends.

We had purchased a Scoopon voucher for an all you can eat (yes yes I know I am total value for money here) at an Indian restaurant. It’s actually quite funny when you look back at my amazing group of friends with their delicious plates loaded up with rice, naan and piles of delicious curries. And I come back with my plate with one piece of meat of the 4 different curries that I wanted to try after having a chicken skewer for my entree.

It was finished off with a dessert tasting platter and wow yum yum yum but soooooo much sugar and sweetness, the rosewater syrup dumpling was amazing but I could only have one tiny mouthful as it was ridiculously sweet but I did enjoy the mango Mousse even if I did only get through half of the shot glass of Mousse.

It was so nice to be comfort in a group of people that I don’t feel any difference with being socially included despite my obvious changes and differences these days. It’s also so nice to be comfort enough to talk frankly and freely about the good, the bad and the ugly of all the changes going on with my body to the point we even joked about a group trip to Thailand so that I can get my skin surgery.

Being surrounded by friends really is something to cherish and treasure in your life!

It was such a huge day which by the end of it I clocked up a massive amount of steps, ate out twice in a day, did a massive amount of domestic duties and had an amazing night out friends. Sleeve life certainly changes things, going out and eating out is different but manageable but I wouldn’t change it in a heartbeat. Sleeve life has saved my life – but I’m definitely too old to be getting home after 2am!!

Today marks 12 marks since I first started this crazy journey. This day last year was the day I had my first appointment with Lilian and I remember it was like yesterday……

I was so excited and full of hope about starting this new and exciting process going into my first appointment, with my Mum in tow for moral support. I knew my private health insurance waiting period was about to expire on 6th November and I had it all worked out in my head. Off I could go to this appointment and she would say yep – your fat (obviously politely), yep – you need surgery and hey presto I would get a surgery date. I could not have possibly been more wrong!

It all started with that first horrific weigh in. And while every weigh in is daunting, this was completely demoralising and soul crushing! I was so heavy that my weight did not even register on their scales. I had to waddle my way over to the complete opposite side of the hospital to find a set of scales that actually registered my starting weight. Finally waddled my way back and was slightly out of breathe but still glad to meet Lilian and get things rolling.

This is when all my intentions of how the appointment would go went completely out the window. Lilian advised that I was too heavy for the equipment to safely complete the surgery laparoscopically and I that I needed to lose 20kg before I was able to be considered for surgery.

I was completely shattered. How on earth was I supposed to lose 20kg (44lbs) at all let alone 20kg quickly – if I could lose 20kg that easily I wouldn’t be here and making this decision to have this drastic but life changing surgery.

I got my way through the appointment with a lot of tears and emotions and I was so glad to have my mum there despite the fact she had no idea what to do with me to ease my distress.

Once I got home that is when the reality of everything really set in and I was a blubbering hysterical mess. I sat on the floor in the corner of my kitchen and i didn’t cry…..I bawled like a baby for an hour! I felt like I was beyond hope, I was beyond being about to turn my life around, I was a lost cause and I was destined to be this large, unhealthy and miserable with my physical being for the rest of my days and I was just going to continually deteriorate with the co-morbidities of being so large and unhealthy.

I went to bed early a tired and emotional wreck who felt shattered and hopeless with a gigantic stress headache!

Fast forward 365 days, minus 76.6kg (169lb) this is me today……

Apricot Chicken Sausage Rolls

Makes: 28 portions

Ingredients:

• 3 1/2 mountain bread wraps
• 150g dried apricots
• 500g chicken mince
• 1 small onion, finely diced
• 1 celery stalk, finely diced
• 2 garlic cloves, finely diced
• 150g sweet potato, grated
• 1 egg
• 1/2 packet French Onion Soup mix
• 3 scoops (90g) pure protein powder

Method:

• Place the dried apricots in a heat proof bowl and cover with 1/4 cup of boiling water, soak for a minimum of 2 hours or preferably overnight
• Preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius and line a baking tray with baking paper
• Cut the mountain bread in half to create two even rectangles
• Dice the soaked dried apricots into small even sized pieces and place in a mixing bowl with any of the soaking liquid
• All all remaining ingredients, except the mountain bread into a mixing bowl and use your hand to massage the mixture through your fingers under well combined
• Divide the mixture into 7 even portions
• Using 1 half of a wrap evenly spread 1 portion of the meat filling down the slightly off centre down the middle of the wrap in a sausage shape
• Fold the smaller portion over the meat
• Brush the other side with egg wash before folding over to complete the sausage roll
• Place on the baking tray with the seal side down
• Repeat with the remaining mountain bread and meat portions
• Brush the tops of the sausage rolls with egg wash
• Bake in the pre-heated oven for 20-25 minutes
• Allow to cool for 10 minutes on the tray before cutting each roll into 4 even portions.

Nutritional Value per portion:

• Calories: 66
• Total fat: 1.4g
• Total carbohydrates: 6.4g
• Sugars: 3.2g
• Protein: 7.1g

Recipe Notes:

• Store covered in the fridge for a maximum of 3 days
• This recipe is freezer friendly to be consumed within 6 months
• Protein powder used in the recipe is Protein Supplies Australia WPI Fast Release protein powders
• You can buy online from www.proteinsuppliesaustralia.com.au
• Use the Discount code holly10 at checkout to get a 10% discount
• Also delicious served cold

Disclaimer: C4K Kitchen does not hold any responsibility for the consumer using this recipe including the storage guidelines and time frames recommended in the recipe notes. The consumer holds all responsibilities to ensure that food hygiene and safety standards are adhered to.

Today I had to take a day off work as it was the only day I couldn’t get child care for school holidays and I had a lovely day!!

Started the day off with baking a batch of protein Enriched apricot chicken sausage rolls! Nom nom nom

Lachlan and I then head off to the gym. He had fun in the “playroom” aka crèche and I knocked out an 800+ calorie cardio session. The honest of kids is hilarious…..get in the car to go home and I get told “mummy lets go home, you need a shower you stink” thanks mate!

I then spent the arvo with one of my nearest and dearest friends. Unfortunately I don’t get to see her as much as I would like but with colliding schedules, children and busy lives we are often like passing ships in the night. I haven’t seen her since about March. I think it’s say she was gobsmacked at my transformation! Mainly physically but also the other changes to do with energy levels, movement capabilities, happiness and confidence levels. It’s nice to have a photo with her and not have my head twice as big as her gorgeous face! This is from her Hens night late last year versus today.

I have also put myself out of my comfort zone and entered into a competition! I have entered to be the face of Never Look Back active wear to win 12 months of active wear…..this is pretty daunting for me to put myself out there like that and to share my before photos.

If you have a spare minute I would love for you to vote to me 😀

Please vote for me by clicking on this link!

Weigh in Wednesday.

This week I was expecting a gain after my only real exercise in the last week being a small gym session on Saturday and the ridiculous playground on Sunday. I also know that my food choices in the last week have not been as wise as they should be and I have been recklessly snacking for the sake of it! And the scales delivered!

I was so disappointed in myself when they told me that I had gain 500g. Not disappointed in the loss as I know this is a journey and it ebbs and flows and that stalls and small gains will happen along the way. But disappointed in myself that I have let myself down over the last week.

I went to put in the weight into my monitor my weigh app to discover I actually stuffed up my starting weight and was 1kg heavier than I thought so I in fact lost 500g this week.

This week – 0.5kg

Since surgery – 57.7kg

Total – 76.6kg

I decided that I needed to brighten up my morning and liven up my day so I went bright and bold and wearing another kindly re-homed Calvin Klein dress to rave reviews at work today.

I did surprise myself at work today. I took a couple of slabs of cake out of the freezer in for the team to share. I had the 2 delicious slabs of cake sitting on the table directly behind me all day and I can honestly say I wasn’t tempted at all. So I am proud of myself for that decision and standing strong.

However, I have been thinking about it all day and I’m using the shock morning and disappointment in myself to drive some changes. I need to stop check and regroup, it’s pouch reset time!! I just can’t ever bring myself to do Opti-phase again after 10 weeks of doing shakes so I have decided I am going to do 5 days each of fluids, purees and finish of with softs, I am going to start on Sunday to give myself some time to plan and also because we already have dinner reservations for Saturday night. Not sure how much value for money I am going to get out of an all you can eat Indian buffet hahahaha but it will be a good night out with Jamie and our friends.

Wednesday nights I can’t go to the gym anymore as Jamie has social lawn bowls, however it was cancelled tonight because of the rain. I wasn’t going to go the gym but after Jamie and Lachlan both told me to go to the gym off I went. So I geared up in my new compression tights and off I went.

It actually felt great wearing the compression wear as it pulled my excess skin in tight and it honestly felt magical feeling what thighs should be like when exercising instead of my normal skin issues. And it even felt somewhat like I had a developing thigh gap.

It was a rollercoaster day but I’m refocused and I’m planning to get myself back on track and refocused.

Short and sweet one today!

I caught up with a dear friend who I haven’t seen for probably at least 6 months. I think she was gob smacked with how I am looking and she was so full of compliments, pride and encouragement of how far I have come and how much I have achieved. It’s so nice to hear from someone who I love and respect so very much to give me so much encouragement and while the words were so great to hear – the hug she gave me spoke louder volumes of how she felt about what is going on in my life.

And the quote oh the day…..”you look the same size now as you did when I first met you when you were 17!!” WOOOHOOOO ***insert happy dance here***

Baked Custard Tarts

Makes: 9

Ingredients:

• 9 wonton wrapper
• 4 egg yolks
• 2 scoops (60g) vanilla protein powder
• 1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste
• 100ml cold skim milk
• 1 tablespoon low calorie sweetener
• 250ml warm skim milk
• 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

Method:

• Preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius
• Prepare 9 muffin wells by spraying with cooking spray and lining each well with a wonton wrapper
• Place the egg yolks, protein powder, vanilla bean paste, cold milk and sweetener into a blender of food processor and blend until perfectly smooth
• Place the warm milk into a mixing bowl and continually whisk the warm milk as you gradually pour the egg yolk mixture in until well combined
• Pour the mixture evenly between the prepared wonton wrappers
• Lightly sprinkle with nutmeg
• Bake for 20-25 minutes until the custard is set
• Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the muffin tray for at least 10 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Nutritional Value per Tart:

• Calories: 84
• Total fats: 2.2g
• Total carbohydrates: 6.8g
• Sugars: 2.6g
• Protein: 9g

Recipe Notes:

• Store in an air tight container in the fridge for a maximum of 5 days
• This recipe is not suitable for the freezer
• Protein powder used in the recipe is Protein Supplies Australia WPI Fast Release protein powders
• You can buy online from www.proteinsuppliesaustralia.com.au
• Use the Discount code psafriendsofhollys at checkout to get a 10% discount

Disclaimer: C4K Kitchen does not hold any responsibility for the consumer using this recipe including the storage guidelines and time frames recommended in the recipe notes. The consumer holds all responsibilities to ensure that food hygiene and safety standards are adhered to.

Passionfruit Peach Breakfast Smoothie

Makes: 1 serve

Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup rolled oats
• 100g Passionfruit Chobani yoghurt
• 1/4 cup diced peaches (fresh or canned)
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/2 scoop (15g) vanilla protein powder

Method:

• Place all ingredients into a blender or food processor and blend until smooth
• Serve immediately

Nutritional Value per serve:

• Calories: 271
• Total fat: 1.4g
• Total carbohydrates: 35g
• Sugars: 12.4g
• Protein: 27.8g

Recipe Notes:

• This recipe is best served fresh
• Protein powder used in the recipe is Protein Supplies Australia WPI Fast Release protein powders
• You can buy online from www.proteinsuppliesaustralia.com.au
• Use the Discount code psafriendsofhollys at checkout to get a 10% discount

Disclaimer: C4K Kitchen does not hold any responsibility for the consumer using this recipe including the storage guidelines and time frames recommended in the recipe notes. The consumer holds all responsibilities to ensure that food hygiene and safety standards are adhered to.

Today I have ouchies!!

I’m so very surprised I’m not stiff and sore after my ridiculous antics of yesterday but I have pulled up really quiet well with the exception of one issue……this is an issue that only those with extreme weight loss would understand!

EXCESS SKIN.

No, I am not just talking about loose skin that is a bit jiggly that comes with age and gravity. I am talking about enough loose skin to cut off and build a tent for an entire family to live in. I am talking about enough loose skin that you have to strategically manage the underwear you wear to keep things where it is supposed to be. I am talking about enough loose skin that you can do a Mexican wave on your own with your own body parts. I am talking about enough loose skin that you have to manage the skin on a daily basis to prevent rashes and infections.

I laugh and joke about it but it is the reality of life at the moment, and I know it’s going to continue to get worse before I can do anything surgical about improving it!

The excess skin on my arms (aka bat on the left and wing on the right) was not very happy with the chaffing factor that happened yesterday in combination with being wet, slippery and foamy. I have severe Chinese burn chaffing issues where my arms are constantly stinging! I have a barrier cream to put on it now to protest it until it heals.

The excess skin on my belly and thighs is also VERY bad, however I can manage this with undergarments. I say undergarments as it is so much worse than just underwear! The excess skin on my boobs I can just shove into a well fitted bra. My belly I manage with some small firm fitting knickers that hold the apron skin up so it doesn’t allow the skin to rub. Over the top of that I have to wear bike shorts otherwise the excess skin on my thighs becomes an issue. Usually then this is all finished off with some ridiculously ugly spanx style knickers that come right up to under my boobs to keep the cauliflower of melted candle smooth and non-jiggling!

So while I am getting all these amazing compliments like my dear work friend who announced when I walked in this morning “Holy shit Holly, I’ve never seen you look so skinny”

I know what is lurking beneath the pretty new clothes and it is FAR from attractive! I wonder how I am going to cope when we heat the peak of summer with excessive heat with all these layers with the excess skin issues. For now I am managing with clothing choices and I just hope I can keep managing this way until I can get the big chop!

Today I was so out of my comfort zone it wasn’t funny! I went to ridiculous playground! What is ridiculous playground? It’s an adult sized playground full of giant adult sized inflatable obstacle and slides etc.

Driving there I felt nauseous with nerves and nearly wanted to chicken out completely and no even go! BUT I pushed through the anxiety of being the fat chick rolled around like a beached whale that everyone was looking at and who couldn’t do anything and just went and did it and you know what…….

IT WAS FREAKING AMAZING!!! I can not remember the last time that I had laughed so hard and had so much bloody fun!!

There were 6 different obstacles to conquer. Some of them I tried and wasn’t a huge fan of (or I completely sucked at them) and others I loveeeedddddd and did them multiple times!

THE DROP

This one was awesome! We when I this at least 10 times! You climbed up the steep incline within an obstacle style free swinging rope and the obstacle steps and then you went down the approximately 5 metre slide. This was fun and I was surprised that I had the upper body strength to do this once let alone time and time again!! The pads of my hands are a bit tender from rope burn tonight but so worth it

RAT RACE

I hated his one. I did it once and that was enough for me!! I got over those damn things but that was enough for me!

LEAP OF FAITH

This is the one I was the most nervous about as it was a 4 metre free fall leap into a giant pillow! I got up the top and was looking down and it was hard to take that leap to jump but I did it! But them I got lost hahahaha I completely sunk into the pillow and couldn’t get any grounding in the giant squishy inflatable pillow that I was engulf and couldn’t move. Eventually after a couple minutes I managed to very ungraciously roll out and crack up laughing. Didn’t do that one again.

FOMO FURY

This one was so much bloody fun but gosh that foam tasted freaking revolting and talk about dry out your skin. I have no idea how many times we went on this but if was probably close to 10 times. Foamy fun and hilarity.

BALLS OF GLORY

Tried it…..epic fail hahahaa

I stood on the platform and I couldn’t even figure out how to even launch on to that first gigantic ball! Well I jumped, which was a feat on its own realistically, but it was a huge fail lol

I didn’t even make the first ball and completely face planted and the landed on my back bedding into the crack of the padding sections laughing hysterically. Won’t be trying that one again.

SCREAM TOWER

This was by far my favourite of all obstacles.

It was challenging and exhausted but it was so much fun!! You had to climb up 30 stairs and then launch yourself down a slide that was 4 storey high. I think we did this one at least 15 times if not more and just quietly I was a bloody champion at all! Most people tapered off on speed half way down the slide however I was a super charged rocket managing to not only reach the end nearly every time but to go completely hurtling into the inflatable wall ending in a mangled up and crumpled heap.

I had my Fitbit on for the first 30 minutes and managed to burn off 406 calories. I then decided it was probably safer for the life of my Fitbit to go and put it in my bag as I was already completely drenched in that time. Knowing that the first 30 minutes we went a bit slow and steady I can honestly say it would have been at least 1,500 calories burnt in that 2 hours!

There was also an unspoken about obstacle that wasn’t on the brochure!! That was called tackling completely drenched and soapy gym pants and super sucker knickers in porta-loos!! Man that was an interesting endeavour!! In my head I had visions of my little cubicle going toppling over as I was trying to tame the wet and slippery clothes!!

A year ago this would not have even been remotely a possibility, today it was amazing!! I was a drenched, foamy, sweaty, itchy hot mess who was constantly having wardrobe malfunctions and boob slips from a too large and wet top but I had the most fun I have had doing something ridiculous in a long time!

Just saying I’m a bit proud of me!!