This weekend has been a really invaluable learning curve for me. While I’m under the weather I did initially feel guilty about not going to the gym, not having the best nutrition and napping a lot more than I have as long as I can remember.

But you know what……..The more I think about it I am actually proud of myself. Proud that I am learning to listen and respect what my body is telling me. It knows what and how much it can handle and right now it’s ok to rest and recovery as that is what my body needs.

I know I’m not quitting, I’m still well and truly committed to achieving my goals but my current path is the Kleenex box and epic sneezing 🤣😂😅

On the plus side finally starting to feel a bit better this afternoon!

When you have friends come over for dinner and you’ve been sleeved you can totally still enjoy life!

Tonight I did a taco buffet and even though classic taco shells are too thick and heavy for me to digest.

But I wasn’t missing out on the fun and instead baked myself some lighter wonton cups and still had my delicious taco filling…in a portion appropriate manner of course!

My food and fluids have been more controlled after my revelations of yesterday. I still had the desire to make bad choices however restrained.

My dear little man made my cry with happiness this morning.

It made me realise that while I am going through this crazy rollercoaster ride for myself to better myself that this dear little man really is the best possible motivator and I couldn’t ask for a better cheerleader.

He was flicking through the pictures on my iPad and he came across the last side my side picture. She stopped and said to me pointing at the October picture and said “look it’s old mummy” and then pointed and the current picture “look it’s new mummy, new mummy is pretty”. My heart melted with love!

My cold has well and truly settled in! No pity party needed as it’s just a cold and I will survive. I have been made acutely aware of 2 major things that have changed since my surgery.

1. I’m ridiculously aware of my hydration now to the point that I have been walking around with a Powerade zero bottle in both hands.

2. Feeling unwell is a trigger for me with food for a quick fix to make myself feel better. Today I have found myself for the first time since surgery overeating, making bad choices and eating simply for the sake of eating. I am not upset or annoyed at myself, I do not feel guilty.

I am human after all! I am also using it as a learning opportunity. I feel empowered and enlightened that I have realised this fact so that in the future it’s something I can manage.

And because I needed a pick me up what better way to do it than a face off Friday!

So kooties have been roaring through my team at work with everyone dropping like flies. I thought I had dodged the bullet until I woke up this morning feeling like I had been hit by the congestion mac truck!!

My plans to go to the gym went completely out the window and instead my bum was reacquainted with the couch curled up under a blanket watching crap TV.

Not at all hungry but made myself have a minimum of my 3 meals. I just couldn’t deal with eating anymore than this! So here it is this is my Bariatric day of food!

So the steak looks huge right??

For non sleever here is a bit of perspective for you. The reality is this is 1/4 cup of veggies and 40g eye fillet steak, or visually. This dinner had me completely full to the brim and not able to fit in another mouthful….

Ps – no I don’t have gigantic hands hahaha it’s just a my tea party dinner 🤣😂😅

Weigh in Wednesday is back again.

This week – 0.4kg

Since Surgery – 53.5kg

Total – 72.4kg

While it’s only a little week this week but I’m still over the moon after the last big couple of weeks. A loss is a loss and 400g closer to my goal!

It was an epic day today as I had my board meeting this afternoon. Was a great meeting for many reasons. Firstly and most importantly because I am happier and healthier within myself and has to confidence to deliver and present to a group of high level professional within the department.

Secondly I saw two ladies who I respect immensely! My lovely consumer representative who I am lucky enough to see regularly, who as always was very positive and complimentary of my progress. I also saw one of the clinical leads who I haven’t seen in person since before surgery. She only had one two words when she saw me….wow phenomenal! So I’m guessing there was some noticeable changes.

I left work ridiculously late and then got caught in show traffic and then banked up traffic after a train and car accident (luckily everyone is ok) but I know that’s life and that’s traffic however I had the most intense headache which I knew was from needing to eat. The only place that I could find and that was anywhere in a close vicinity as the dizziness hit was McDonalds. I tried to choose wisely and order a mini chicken wrap – I thought it should be ok given I had a mini wrap from home at work today. Boy oh boy was I wrong! To add a little bit of extra time on my already long trip home I had to pull over and have a cheeky roadside vomit. Percy was not at all happy with me AT ALL!!!

Today I have decided to do something a little bit different and celebrate in my inaugural Percy Awards post!

And the awards category of the day is…..

BEST SUPPORTING ROLE!!

And the nominations are:

1. My glasses

Today I am wearing “new” frames, which are actually my old frames just to confuse things.

I have had so many people tell me my frames were too big swallowing my face now that my face is so distinctly thinner. So I have decided to go back to my previous smaller frame glasses.

I give thanks to my glasses for most importantly giving me the capacity to actually see myself (and the world clearly) but thanks to my old frames for hiding my old chubby cheeks.

2. Zulily

Zulily gets a mention in its supporting role for not only feeding my addiction for internet shopping but for delivering me the ongoing gorgeous, cheap, stylish and SMALLER clothes that I am enjoying wearing at the moment.

Most of the newly premiered outfits of the last fortnight have been zulily bargains. I wonder when the delivery man will deliver my next parcel in transit?? 🤣😂😅

3. My bra

Today I also wore a new bra for the first time! I can’t believe the size, it is in the teens!! I started out as a 26f and today I was proudly rocking out (well secretly since I am the only one who sees it) in my new 18DD bra. It’s cute and it fits really well so I can roll up and stuff the windsocks, that were formally known as boob into them.

4. My new knickers

Today I also wore some new knickers also sized in the teens….what the?!?!?

I can honestly not remember when I last wore size 18 knickers! I am ashamed to admit this but I started out in size 28 bonds cottontails knickers that were tents in comparison to the new knickers. I thought I kept an old pair for reflection purposes however they seem to have been thrown out in my last wardrobe cull.

My new knickers also play a supporting role as they are control top knickers. While they aren’t as large and unattractive as the cottontails they do have to be constricting and supportive to pull in all the extra jiggly skin bits to not only attempt to keep things somewhat smooth but to also contain the excess skin and prevent any unwanted rashes and skin irritations. The struggles here are real! So thank you best n less control tops for keeps things contained!!

5. Paragon Fitness Centre

Oh how much I have a love/hate relationship with this place but Paragon and the amazing friendly and welcoming staff are playing a huge supporting role in me learning to take the time out and to invest the time in bettering myself emotional and physically!!

So kudos to all the nominees mentioned for the category of best supporting role but I am proud to announce that the winner is – Drum roll please………

MY SHORT LEGGED BIKE SHORTS

While I have a mass of excess skin in my batwings and belly and I no longer have boobs BUT the one area that causes me the most anxiety and discomfort is the excess skin in my upper thighs.

All I have ever wanted to do or wear is a cute tiny floral pair of shorts come summer but I know that will NOT, I repeat will NOT be happening until I have had reconstructive skin surgery. I had so much excess skin on my inner thighs that I refer to it as my second vagina. When I stand the skin sags down nearly to my knees and resembles a secondary lady business. I know, I know, such an attractive picture in your mind but it’s the facts! I love my new legs from my knees down but knees upwards is some kind of horror story!!

I have a picture but I just can’t bring myself to openly share it as it just really sets of my anxiety!

So this leads me to why my short legged bike shorts win the best supporting role. Whenever I am wearing anything other than pants, which is often since I have always been a dress girl I always and I mean ALWAYS have to have a pair of bike shorts on underneath my dress. I need this to keep the excess skin from rubbing and also from my keeping me from flashing my second vagina to the world. Nobody wants or needs to see that….me included!

Not much to report today. Another day another new outfit and day of confirming my mind is in a better place that it has been in as long as I can remember.

My confidence levels are increasing everyday in all aspects of my life. Not just from a physical perspective but also as a whole. I believe in myself and my abilities so much more than I have ever before. It’s a long and hard road but I deserve to appreciate me…..ALL of the shrinking me!

I am making the best investment I can possible make…..I’m investing in myself!

Oh how life has changed!! I was the first to wake up this morning and having mum around to look after Lochie while Jamie got to have his Father’s Day sleep in I decided to sneak out of the house early and head off to the gym! Never in a million years did I think I would get out of bed on a Sunday morning while everyone else was still sleeping to go to the GYM!!

I started off with 20 minutes on the cross trainer (or torture chamber as Mum called it!) and the stair master was calling my name so I though stuff it I’ll give it another crack this time doing 5 straight minutes and even increasing the resistance/incline setting. I then went on to do 3 full sets of the circuit that Anita set up for me. Finished off with 6km on the bike and then another 5 minutes on that man stair master! Finishing off my Sunday morning workout of just over 900 calories burnt.

Being Father’s Day I wanted to make some kind of effort to look somewhat respectable for Jamie.

I was proud to be wearing an entire outfit of size 20’s. This is a surreal moment for me as I have been a 24+ for the last 15 years at least.

Since Mum was in Adelaide I took the opportunity to do another round of progress photos since Jamie can’t take photos to save himself. I have no words…….

I am shocked

I am dumbfounded

I am proud

I am in disbelief

They say a picture is worth a thousand words so here are my words!

To be honest I can’t stop looking at the back view as I never knew it was possible for me to have a defined and small looking waist. It all just seems so surreal and someone needs to pinch me! I am by no means where I want to be but I’m so damn proud of how far I am come and today I am one step closer and I’m happier and healthier than I was yesterday.

Today I am giving myself a day off from doing my Percy journal and I am handing over free reign to my biggest and bestest support person I have had on this crazy ride.  My amazing beautiful Mum…..Noelene!  She is going to do today’s entry and she’s been told she can write whatever she wants to.  Thanks Mum. Love you xxx

Well here I am, the very first guest blogger – firstly, I must say how proud I am of Holly for making the decision to go on this journey and for her magnificent effort in the last eight months.

That brings me to today ………… “let’s go to the gym together – it will be fun”  Holly says to me.  It did take me some time to answer  that question, as the thought of ‘fun’ went through my mind.  FUN- enjoyment, light-hearted pleasure, leisure ….. yes, that would be great – I will do it!!!

Not having any ‘gym clothes’ with me, I went with Holly looking like a beraggled version of a novice exerciser!!

We started on the seated cross trainer for 20 minutes – yeah this should be FUN!!  After choosing the exercise profile, we started pumping.  Holly powered off right from the start at a feverish speed and remained that way for the entire time.  I was puffing after only two minutes into the set but managed to womble my way through to the end with lots of moaning, groaning, sweating and the odd swear word.  I can’t tell you how many calories I burnt or what my heart rate was as I left my phone in the locker.  Holly burnt off 310 calorie.  What????  That’s not even equal to half of a meat pie’s calorie content!!!  I renamed that machine the ‘Torture Chamber’.  But it wasn’t time to go home …………

Next we did 20 minutes on the tread mill – I was soooo much better on this, maintaining a speed of 5.7 and increasing the incline to 10 …… but Holly was out-doing me with a much higher incline.  Holly burnt off 276 calories.  Well that seemed like some tough work for that amount of calories. I was gathering up my towel and water bottle,  heading out to pick up the grandson from the childcare room, when Holly informs me that we have to do a 20 minutes set on a bike!!!  You gotta be joking!!!

And what a fancy bike this was – it had a video generated screen showing where you were riding after picking your course.  I felt like a teenage at a video machine game!!!  Off I pedalled on the 5.42 km lap, only to be informed by Holly that I have to increase the gears on one hand and decrease the gears on the other hand whilst steering the bike – all those things to remember!!  I think I forgot to pedal while I was concentrating on other things!!  Well I FINALLY finished about  four minutes behind Holly.  While Holly was waiting for me to finish she worked on a stair master (I’ve never heard of or seen one before!!)  She was glad when I finished the course, so she could finish on that  ‘Agony Machine’.  I was able to get me stats from the machine and to my disappointment I had only burnt off 95 calories.  OMG!!!  I would have to ride 50 kms to get good numbers!!

Now that I know just how hard you have to work on these machines for it to be useful, bouquets go out to all the people who do this on a regular basis.  You have determination, drive and dedication!!!  Keep up the great work and best wishes!!!

Another new day of this week and another day I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone when it comes to wardrobes. For the first time ever I wore jeans to work and I also wore a necklace I was given for Christmas. I have loved this necklace since I was given it but I have never worn it before as it used to sit on my boobs like a ledge and it just felt so awkward and wrong.

So many compliments this week on my new found confidence to rock out these new outfits with style and shape.

Loving myself this week!! This is a weird feeling and I kind of like it…..