I had my six month post-op check up today with the bariatric GP. I officially hate the clinic scales however not overly stressed by the high number than the number on my home scales. I know this guy was there are 800 g heavier than mine and I was well…….fully clothed.

The first thing she said to me was “wow just wow”, She said she barely recognised me.  We had a really good chat on how everything is going. She is elated that I’m still managing a 1.6kg average loss per week at six months post-op. We also talked about managing my skin issues which are only going to get worse before it gets better, we have a management plan in place.

She then went on to talk about how proud and excited all of the staff are for me, not only for my personal achievement so far but also for all that I do to assist and support others on the same journey (apparently they have been watching my social media presence with pride.)

We then had a really interesting and in lightning conversation about the stigmatism and social judgement is associated with weight loss surgery. She made comment on how everything I am doing will hopefully help to break down the silly social perception.

So with the confidence in my I have decided to go public and make an open post on Facebook (my personal page) as the vast majority of my personal friends do not know about my surgery.

When I got home I got out of the car and I can honestly say I was shocked with my shadow. I have never seen my shadow looking so lean, there is no round basketball is hanging off of a chip and a gap between my legs!

Overall a great, positive and inspiring day. I have to have a routine set of bloods done to check all of my levels. Back to the dietician in six weeks and the bariatric GP in four months. I’m excited about where I will be at that point in time.

This way in Wednesday is a special one this week. This week marks six months since I had my surgery. I had no idea what to expect but all I had hoped for was a 900 g loss to take me to a grand total of 60 kg lost.

This week – 2.6kg 

Since surgery – 42.8kg

Total – 61.7kg

Okay so I’m officially over the freaking moon! Not only did I crack the total loss mark of 60 kg, I’ve also reached my next target weight along the way and I am now officially halfway to my go away. I cannot even begin to fathom that I’m halfway to where I want to be in just 6 short  months post surgery.

Today I saw a picture on Facebook that Jamie  was tagged in, I was in the picture too but even Facebook didn’t recognise me in the picture. It was only from 3 December last year (a couple of weeks before surgery) and even Facebook didn’t recognise my old face! I did a side by side comparison against a selfie from Saturday night.

I find it so hard to believe such dramatic changes have happened in a short period of time. I’m also wondering when did my eyes get bigger or how I know that I lost fat from my eyesockets? 🤣😂😅

Today also is the day (21st) that I do my monthly measurements. I cannot believe in the last month I have lost another 14 cm with a massive 6 cm off my bum alone. That is a total of 40 cm of my bum since surgery. That is astronomical and I struggle to even fathom!

Today has been all about numbers and while I know this is only one part to measure my successes. But today I celebrate the numbers.

Only 24 kg more to lose until I hit my next weight related goal which is when I will drop my first obesity category (class 3 to class 2).

This is going to happen and I’m excited.

Excited and motivated!!

Today was a much better day for me all around. Physically, nutritionally and mentally.

Tuesday is my ‘me’ day and while I probably should have been doing domestics around the house, today I thought stuff it! I’m actually having a ‘me’ day.

I decided to check out the walking track recommended by the SSO in Lachlan’s classroom. 

It was beautiful scenery along the path and I was enjoying my walk until 5 km in, I stopped and had an “oh shit” moment.  I realised I still had to walk back that far. Oh well I did it….I walked 10km!!

Six months ago I wouldn’t have walked that distance over a two week period let alone walking that far in less than 2 hours!

Then when coming home I did a therapy bake/cook session which always makes me feel better cooking chicken sausage rolls, Chicken Stack, Wonton Ravioli and chocolate mousse all of course protein pimped healthy adaptations.

Tonight I also had some positive compliments at the little guys aqua therapy session this afternoon with one of the other mums )who has become a great friend) made a comment of how thin I am looking at the moment.  I accepted the compliment graciously and said thank you.

I still feel awkward and uncomfortable in more form fitting and shapely clothes. Perhaps I need to start transitioning and getting used to showing instead of hiding my new emerging shape.

Today I am also weirdly not nervous about tomorrow’s way in result, I think I am learning every day to trust myself that I am making smart and sensible decisions to continue on the crazy rollercoasters to be the best version of myself.

I am slightly intrigued and excited wondering if I will hit that magical 60 kg total loss tomorrow?

Today I am still feeling a bit left of centre and still a bit off so I remind myself of one of my favourite quotes.

So today I am going to reflect on the good in my day! Regardless of how awkward and uncomfortable it makes me feel, today I graciously accepted the five compliments I received. 

This is a big thing for me as I normally deflect and make a joke to divert the attention away from the compliment.

Changes are happening.

Gradually but they are happening 😀

Today I have had an emotionally charged flat day (due to circumstances external to my sleeve) and has left me wanting to resort to my old habits of eating my feelings……

So instead of eating I found another outlet for my stress related food desired in cooking delicious and healthy food to stock up the freezer. 

So I needed to give myself a pep talk on this off day to remind myself how far I have coke, how much I have already changed and that I am strong and proud!

Essentially I need to be kinder to myself!

Today I experienced something that is very new for me. I had a successful shopping expedition! Normallly when I go shopping for clothes it’s crazy stressful experience that normally ends in tears.

Today I walked out happy with my purchases and also happy with the things I tried on, fitted and looked nice but didn’t buy. I think FINALLY that clothes number is starting to shift.

Previously I couldn’t shop in City Chic as the clothes were too small.

Last time Jamie and I had a date night I wore my first goal outfit of a City Chic XXL dress. Today I bought a City Chic dress in the size of XL. Not only is that smaller size but it wasn’t black and it was a cut that firstly defined my waist, which is something that I have always avoided like the plague and secondly didn’t resort to flaunting the girls. It was a nice surprise to wear something with shape that I was proud to wear! I also tried on a few other pieces which also fit and looked nice but opted not to purchase.

I also bought something that I have wanted but never been able to find one I like and that fitted. A nice knitted jumper, nothing extravagant or fancy just a nice and warm everyday too. Even better that it’s a size 22, somehow this jumper has skipped size 24 completely.

I realise sizing is so inconsistent and it’s probably a big cut but it’s a gratifying moment to see THAT number go down in the jumper I bought (and in the other four I tried on).

The entire purpose of this shopping trip was because tonight was date night again where it was so nice to see up and feel happy, confident, comfortable and I will continue with my positive self affirmations – I felt really pretty! It’s still weird to think of myself in this way but I kind of like it.

Day 53 – 5.2km, 53/50 – 194.8km

This is my last daily km check in as the page challenge finishes today. Happy to say I achieved well over the target 100km mark.

Yesterday in one of my Facebook support groups one of my sleeve sisters posted a video with her personal reflections on her journey so far.  Something she said really hit hard in my brain and I have no idea why but I am so grateful it did!

I need to be kind to myself and I need to give myself come credit where credit is due.

So today I shout it from the roof tops…..

TODAY I FEEL PRETTY!!!

I am now also confident enough to proudly wear bright red and bold sexy Mumma lipstick.

It’s a huge thing for me to think this let alone say it out loud.

Day 52 – 1.7km, 52/50 – 189.6km

Today was a disjointed day. Started my day having some Nanna (my mum) and niece time. We went for a walk while Maddy ride her bike to the playground.

I had a little win I’d actually not only comfortably fitting in the swing but also actually using it properly. 

It was so nice to spend some quality time playing with niece and at one stage I even broke into a run!

Then head off to work to do a few hours then back to mum life of therapy appointment, dinner, lunchboxes, prep for the day tomorrow.

Days like today aren’t anything special or worthy of reporting on but it still gives me the chance to reflect how much easier life is to do everything I need to do in my day.

Day 51 – 4.8km, 51/50 – 187.9km

Weigh in Wednesday!

This week – 0.2kg

Since surgery – 40.2kg

Total – 59.1kg

Given my past weeks eating habits, lack of sleep, lack of exercise I am elated with my loss even if it is little!

I was honestly expecting a gain week.

900g off 60kg total and 2.5kg off my next goal weight to be 50% of my way to my target.

Today the little guy had a class excursion into the city so I joined them for a while on my work lunch break.

It was a 2km walk there and 2km back and even though I was in my heeled boots I absolutely crushed my previous PB of walking speed so today I celebrate that little win.

I also had four seperate comments on how clear and fresh my skin is looking. So to them I say thank you and I accept another little win.

Day 50 – 5.1km, 50/50 – 183.1km

My normal Holly day has gone our the window this week as I had to change my work days around to go to a meeting. I can say hand on my heart I MISSED IT!!

I missed the time that I turn the music up, clear the brain of the daily routines and worries and simply just walk to some awesome beats.

Lachlan’s sleeping has been horrendous lately and not getting any better being awake anywhere between 2-5 hours in the middle of the night meaning I am awake for this duration too.

This has resulted in two less than desirable returning habits being my snacking in the middle of the night.  I know half of this is habit but the other half is because I need a hit of calories to get and keep me functioning.

The other thing I am doing is having an extra coffee during the day which is adding in an decent whack of calories I’m not burning as I’m too damn tired and don’t have the time in my schedule to exercise.

Very nervous for tomorrow’s weigh in….60kg total is so close but it won’t happen tomorrow, I am sure of that!

Day 49 – 2.8km, 49/50 – 178km