Day 3 of 5 of my purees

Breakfast – scrambled eggs

Morning tea – iced coffee

Lunch – Smoothie satchel

Afternoon tea – chocolate mousse

Dinner – chicken Thai green curry

Still feeling very flat and deflated but I’m determined to get over this slump so I am going to consciously make efforts everyday for the next week to stop, acknowledge to appreciate NSV or things I like about my new self.

Since my appearance is the thing I am struggling with today I am going to defy my brain and acknowledge and celebrate one part of my body that I am happy with. I actually like the way my legs look well at least from the knees down!

And I also like my lips. Since I have lost weight my lips are no longer swallowed by fat puffy face and cheeks and they are a decent pair of lips that I’m quiet enjoying brightly and boldly putting on display – something I have never done before!

They might only be 2 little things but today these are a big step in the right direction to getting out of this funk!

Have been struggling with energy levels as my intake has been very low being back on purees and with my heightened restrictions. I should have gone to the gym but instead pottered around the garden, mowed the front lawn until I ran out of petrol.

Day 2 of 5 of textural torture!!

Breakfast – protein iced coffee

Lunch – baked beans, Ricotta, Parmesan cheese with protein powder

Afternoon tea – chocolate mousse

Dinner – chicken Thai green curry

I have mentally been in a bit of a slump for the last week or so. I am struggling with the entire process, I am struggling to know that while I have come so far from where I started I still have such a long way to go to reach my goal. I’m struggling to know that people who had surgery around the same time as me or after me are at goal weight and looking phenomenal in size 10’s, I am so very happy for them and I know everyone’s journey is their own and different but it so damn hard when I am still considered Class 3 obese. People say to me but look how far you have come already, as a rationale way to help me get perspective. I know they are coming from a good place and the point is valid – however it doesn’t actually help me one iota. It’s almost like rubbing salt into the wound to say you’ve achieved so much and SUCK IT….you’re still not even remotely close to where you want to be!

And to top it off I am so ridiculously self conscious with my body and all my excess skin. I HATE HATE HATE the way I look, my skin issues are uncomfortably and honestly offensive and disgusting. I cry at the way I look! I should be feeling confident with the new and improved me but it actually makes me sick that I have lost so much weight and gained so much life BUT I look physically repulsive!

I don’t like feeling like this, I don’t like the way these thoughts consume my thoughts and are bringing in a green eyed monster in me that I frankly despise!! Time to make another appointment with the life style coach from my surgeons clinic I think.

Happy 10 months to me…..I really can’t believe how quickly the time has passed!

That means it’s time to do my monthly body measurements. This month I have lost another 3.5cms across my 6 measure points. My calves and thighs unfortunately haven’t moved in a long time but I can still celebrate losing a total of 147cm off my body since my first appointment with Lilian. Shut the front door….that’s nearly 1 & 1/2 metres.

I was intending to go to the gym this morning but we had a Jelly incident which meant the little guy wasn’t in an condition to go to the crèche.

The Jelly incident….I have been feeling a bit bottled up lately so I decided to add some of Lachlan’s movicol junior into a batch of jelly I made for myself. Jamie wasn’t aware that the Jelly was laced with laxatives and during Lachlan’s regular middle of the night party time he ate pretty much all of the laced jelly. Needless to say the little guy is no longer blocked and I literally had a shitty morning.

Things settled down in the afternoon and got to spend some time pottering around in the yard, mowing the lawns and doing some more of the weeding. Jamie was joking about me being an energiser bunny as was constantly telling me to sit down and relax.

Today was day 1 of my next phase of my Holly style reset being the textural torture phase of purees! 1 day down and 4 to go…..I can honestly say my restrictions really are tightening up not even able to finish any of my meals and the biggest serving was 1/2 cup of volume.

Day 5/5 of my fluid flush….I didn’t quiet make it through with only fluids.

We had an afternoon tea at work today and I managed to resist and just had my jelly while everyone was eating cake, donuts,  dip, bread, cheese and crackers………..until I got home from work. Tired, cranky and low on calories with a VERY high maintenance little man who was refusing to sleep! I diverted away from fluids with some cherry tomatoes and snow peas.

Tomorrow is day 1/5 of purees! Or as I like to call it textural torture! But I will get it done, I can already feel my restrictions tightening and apart from my stray tonight I am feeling good and focused!

As I got home tonight I was putting my laundry away and I have distinctly noticed a substantial change to my wardrobe. My wardrobe really only has 2 different options now!

Dressy and corporate work clothes…..

And gym clothes – nothing at all in between!

Transitional wardrobes can be very challenging!

But on a positive note my new “never look back” singlet says everything it needs to say!! I just need to stay focused and stay positive after all Rome wasn’t built in a day!

After my disappointment of yesterday’s weight in, I am in a much better frame of mind today. I have regrouped and pulled up my not-so-big-anymore pants and moved onwards and upwards.

And I literally mean not so big anymore!

Day 4 of 5 of fluid flush and I can honestly say tomorrow will definitely be the last day and I will be ready to move onto my 5 days of textural torture of purees……but I will do it!!

I was chatting with one my lovely work colleagues (who is also a dear friend) today, she was telling me how excited she gets every morning to see what new outfit I am going to wear and how much she is loving my new found confidence and style. While my top and cardy wasn’t new today, my skirt was and it’s a miracle!!!

IT WAS A SIZE 18 SKIRT…..I was a size 18 when I left high school! It’s a stretchy skirt so a forgiving size but I’m taking it regardless, I wore a size 18!!!

Mum is down tonight and the NSV victories keep piling up today with Mum telling me how clear my skin is and that she can’t remember it ever looking so flawless.

So yes the numbers where shitty yesterday during the weigh in but today I am celebrating my progress in other ways! Compliments on my new wardrobe and style, shrinking undies, size 18 skirts and clear skin wins are celebrated today!!

Cheesy Cauliflower and Broccoli Soup

Serves: 2

Ingredients:

• 100g Broccoli
• 100g Cauliflower
• 2 garlic cloves
• 1 vegetable stock cube
• 1 scoop (30g) pure protein powder
• 1/4 cup smooth ricotta cheese
• 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese

Method:

• Cut the Broccoli and Cauliflower into small even sized pieces place in a small saucepan with the garlic and stock cube
• Add water so it is just level with the top of the vegetables and simmer until the vegetables are cooked through, the time will vary depending on how large the pieces are
• Place the contents of the saucepan into a blender, cooking liquid included and process until smooth
• Add in the protein powder, Ricotta cheese and Parmesan cheese and process further until smooth and creamy
• Serve immediately

Nutritional Value per serve:

• Calories: 156
• Total fat: 4.1g
• Total carbohydrates: 10.1g
• Sugars: 3.9g
• Protein: 19.7g

Recipe Notes:

• Store covered in the fridge for up to 3 days
• This recipe is freezer friendly to be consumed within 6 months
• Protein powder used in the recipe is Protein Supplies Australia WPI Fast Release protein powders
• You can buy online from www.proteinsuppliesaustralia.com.au
• Use the Discount code psafriendsofhollys at checkout to get a 10% discount

Disclaimer: C4K Kitchen does not hold any responsibility for the consumer using this recipe including the storage guidelines and time frames recommended in the recipe notes. The consumer holds all responsibilities to ensure that food hygiene and safety standards are adhered to.

Weigh in Wednesday….

Not happy Jan!! This week I have gained 1kg…..this confirms the exact reasons why I am going this Holly-ified reset. Things have gone slightly off the rails and the train needs to get back on track and that’s what this fluids reset is all about.

My heart is not coping at all with this gain but my brain is giving me the same rational pep talk that I have given to others many times before. Gains and stalls are a normal part of the process, you’re body occasionally needs to pause so it can catch up with the process, muscle weighs more than fat, you’re centimetres are probably reducing even though your weight hasn’t changed, you maybe be heading into your monthly cycle, you are probably retaining fluid since you are so focused on fluids at the moment, it’s about your overall progress not just a snap shot of this week alone.

I know all of this and I agree and acknowledge of this BUT it still sucks knowing that I still have a bloody long way to go to reach my goals, I’m now 1kg further away from reaching my goal.

And I shouldn’t complain…….To date I have had a dream run with only one other small gain and one small fortnight where I stalled in my nearly 10 months post-op. Today I will let myself be miserable, tomorrow I will pull up my not so big anymore panties and regroup.

This confirmation has made me so focused on finishing this 5 days fluids flush and then reliving the textural nightmare that is 5 days or purees.

Day 3 of fluids is done. An coffee oak plus, cheesy cauliflower and broccoli soup, diet jelly and Beef pho broth today.

I’m not feeling any different but I am definitely feeling slightly lethargic and flat which would be from the lessened calories and protein intake but I will keep going to do what I need to do to continue to reach my goals and staying focused along the way.

Chocolate Protein Panna Cotta

Makes: 6

Ingredients:

• 1 & 1/2 teaspoons powdered gelatine
• 1/2 cup boiling water
• 170ml Chobani natural yoghurt
• 1 scoop (30g) chocolate protein powder
• 1 tablespoon cacao
• 1 teaspoon of stevia (or any low calorie sweetener of your choice)

Method:

• Place the gelatine in a small heat proof mixing bowl with the boiling water and whisk with a fork until well combined
• In a large mixing bowl add the yoghurt, protein powder, cacao and stevia and whisk until well combined and smooth
• Gradually pour in the gelatine mixture continually whisking until well combined and smooth with no lumps
• Pour the mixture gently between 6 invisibly ramekins or silicon muffin cups
• Place in the fridge for a minimum of 4 hours but preferably overnight to set
• To plate the Panna Cotta place the ramekin of silicon muffin cup into a bowl or plate of boiling water for a few seconds to loosen on the outside
• Turn the Panna Cotta on to your serving plate and enjoy

Nutritional Value per Panna Cotta:

• Calories: 36
• Total fats: 0.2g
• Total carbohydrates: 1.6g
• Sugars: 0.7g
• Protein: 7.6g

Recipe Notes:

• Store in the ramekin and/or silicon muffin cup in the fridge for up to 5 days, turn out as you wish to serve.
• This recipe is not freezer friendly
• Add more stevia (or low calorie sweetener of your choice) to suit your flavour preferences
• Picture shown has the Panna Cotta served with shaved dark chocolate and some marscapone
• Protein powder used in the recipe is Protein Supplies Australia WPI Fast Release protein powders
• You can buy online from www.proteinsuppliesaustralia.com.au
• Use the Discount code psafriendsofhollys at checkout to get a 10% discount

Disclaimer: C4K Kitchen does not hold any responsibility for the consumer using this recipe including the storage guidelines and time frames recommended in the recipe notes. The consumer holds all responsibilities to ensure that food hygiene and safety standards are adhered to.

Day 1 of 5 for my fluids flush! And it’s a real day one without faltering.

Morning started with a homemade honeycomb up and go

Morning tea of a skinny latte and small jelly cup

Lunch of roast Sweet Potato & carrot soup (protein Enriched)

Afternoon tea of chocolate Protein Ricotta

For dinner I had a protein Enriched chicken laksa (which tasted nice but wish I didn’t Protein pimp it as it ruined my luscious laksa texture).

For my hydration I had a unicorn water, dissolved stock cube in boiling water and a litre of protein water.

So I made it through the day, I am feeling tired, flat and calorie deprived but I am focused and I will do this!

It was a beautiful spring day and for the first time in as long as I can remember the legs came out without stockings and for once I elf like my legs looked good and not gigantic big bloated stobey poles!!

Day 2 tomorrow, it will be more of a challenge being at home and not distracted and at work but I’m strong and committed and I will do it!

Today was day 1 of my 5 days of fluid…..however today it has been rebadged to day 0.

It was a beautiful sunny day and I had plans to catch up with some girls for lunch. So I started my day with a yoghurt, coffee and unicorn water while sneaking in another hour of gardening before I got ready to head to meet the girls.

I really do get socially awkward when I’m getting dressed as I am honestly clueless these days on how to dress to my new body shape and I am full of self doubt with everything I try on. But this is what I picked out. A re-homed dress from one sleeve sister and a re-homes cardy from another sleeve sister. The cardy is a MEDIUM from city Chic, 12 months ago I didn’t even fit into city Chic’s largest size.

On my way there I had an awkward moment that is a hilarious moment in the life of a sleever. As I was driving I had an episode of reflux so was fishing around in my handbag for a Quickeze. Found it, unwrapped it, chucked it in my mouth and very quickly spat it out! It wasn’t a Quickeze at all, it was a chicken stock cube. Talk about revolting!

As I mentioned things started off well with day 1 of fluids but it went slightly wayward at lunch time at a winery in McLaren Vale. The gourmet menu was absolutely delicious but they didn’t have anything liquid suitable so I settled for a tasty and luxurious mini cheese plate.

The waiter was somewhat hilarious, constantly trying to ask me what else I wanted to order and of I had enough to eat…..mate I can’t even finish what I had in front of me let alone considering ordering anything else!

I also today celebrated losing one of my best friends……not literally losing but numerically lost her! We have discovered that I have lost her entire weight…..I have lost a WHOLE FREAKING ADULT. And because I’m a visual person we decided to have some fun to recreate what it would be like to add that weight back onto my frame. How on earth did I manage to function and cope every day.

Such a beautiful day with some beautiful friends!

Back on deck tomorrow with day 1 of fluids!