So today and tomorrow I am attending resilience and wellbeing training for work.

The one thing that resonated the most with me throughout my first day was the section where we spent talking about cultivating gratitude. I think this sat close to home as over the last 15 months I have been on a journey of not only weight loss but also of self discovery and self awareness.

So a part of my “homework” for the night was to right down three things that went well in the last 24 hours. Being: and event, something good, goals you’ve achieve or individuals who care for you?

So it’s all good and well name these things but to cultivate this concept of gratitude it’s important to take it to the next level and to consider and reflect why did it go well? And how did you or other contribute?

1. I am grateful for my amazing personal trainer.

She came into my life as I was only just becoming comfortable in the world of gym’s and she has always been so kind, understanding and full of information about the services available at the gym.

Since starting my regular Thursday morning “torture” session with her she has become an amazing inspiration and motivation to me keeping me focused, keeping me challenged, changing things up, being my food guinea pig for new recipes and listening to me whinge, bitch and moan more than I probably should during my session!

Today I am grateful for my Thursday morning PT session, even on days when it’s a struggle to get up at stupid o’clock I push myself beyond what I ever thought was imaginable!

2. I am grateful that the Taskboard Launch at the Royal Adelaide Hospital has been a roaring success

This week has been a big week for me professionally in which a major component of one of my work projects has been launched at the biggest hospital in the state.

I am grateful that the launch has gone off without a hitch and the feedback has been beyond positive for all staff that they are feeling more supported and most importantly it is positively impacting on improved patient care.

Why did it go so well, from months of coordination, team work, planning and having a cracking good software package I have written.

Not only am I grateful about the success of the launch, I’m also proud of myself and the entire team involved.

3. My family

The journey that I have been on and am continuing on. While it has been centred around me and my personal pursuit for health and happiness it has also inadvertently impacted on my entire family network.

I am eternally grateful for the ongoing love, support and encouragement that my family give to me on a daily basis. I am appreciative for the support that they give me to have the capacity to go to the gym 4-5 times a week. I am graciously learning to accept the compliments that I get from them and taking the time to not only hear what they are saying to me but to also listen and believe it.

I love my family and they are my biggest support network which there are no words for how grateful I am for them!!

Baked Raspberry Protein Cheesecake

Makes: 6

Ingredients:

• 125g cream cheese
• 160g raspberry high protein yoghurt
• 1 egg
• 2 scoops (60g) vanilla protein powder
• 1 teaspoon stevia (optional)
• 1/2 cup frozen raspberries, roughly chopped

Method:

• Preheat the oven to 160 degrees Celsius and place a silicon muffin tray on a baking tray
• Place the cream cheese, yoghurt, egg, protein powder and stevia in a blender or food processor and blend until perfectly smooth
• Pour the mixture evenly between the six wells in silicon muffin tray
• Evenly sprinkle the chopped raspberries into the cheesecake mixture and gently stir
• Bake for approximately 20-25 minutes until the outside edge is set with a gentle wobbled in the middle
• Allow to cool for 30 minutes before placing in the fridge for a minimum of 2 hours to set.

Nutritional Value per Cheesecake:

• Calories: 130
• Total fats: 6.2g
• Carbohydrates: 4g
• Sugar: 2.8g
• Protein: 12.5g

Recipe Notes:

• Store in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 5 days

• This recipe is freezer friendly however best served fresh

• Protein powder used in the recipe is Protein Supplies Australia WPI Fast Release protein powders

• You can buy online from www.proteinsuppliesaustralia.com.au

• Use the Discount code holly10 at checkout to get a 10% discount

Disclaimer: C4K Kitchen does not hold any responsibility for the consumer using this recipe including the storage guidelines and time frames recommended in the recipe notes. The consumer holds all responsibilities to ensure that food hygiene and safety standards are adhered to.

So it’s been a while between my “When Holly Met Percy” blog posts so thought it was timely to touch base.

The last fortnight has been somewhat challenging. Not from a sleeve perspective but from a work perspective as I have a whole tirade of unexpected stresses that I have been trying to process but I have pushed through and survived.

I have however had some great things happen in my personal growth, development and self affirmations.

I had a body composition scan. This is an X-ray style scan which gives you a full break down of your body composition.

While the picture is FAR from flattering is has lots of positives that I can see.

I was completely shocked that there was no red or even orange which indicates dense and pure fat within my scan. I am also pleasantly surprised with the amount and density of the blue, which indicates muscle, within the scan. The lady who did the scan commented that it’s the biggest and most vibrant amount of blue that she has every seen within a person of my size. While the picture is confronting and unflattering I am delighted that I can see the positives and the evidence of my hard work paying off.

She also went on to talk about my percentage of body fat. I was honestly expecting my body fat percentage to be sitting at around 50% that was indicated in the “monitor my weight” app that I use as my weight tracker. The results of the scan actually indicate that my actual percentage of body fat is only 30%.

Chatted on the graph above I am actually sitting below average (the average percentage of body fat is indicated by the blue line) of percentage of body fat for females my age of 36. I find it rewarding and also a sense of disbelief that I am below average.

So the overall results 4% bone mass, 66% muscle mass and 30% fat mass…..and my head weighs 4.1kg which I find it somewhat hilarious.

I was also introduced to the Fat Mass Index (FMI) scale which I didn’t know even existed. The FMI scale is supposed to be more reliable than the more well known BMI scale as it considers your percentage of body fat and actually isn’t distorted by the weight of my excess skin or the weight of the muscle that I have developed working hard at the gym.

My FMI classification is 12.50

Considering the BMI scale I am still considered Obese Class II however within the FMI scale I am considered overweight/excess fat.

I am so delighted that while I can’t see physical transformations that I made because of the deformities of my excess skin, this scan has really given me peace of mind that underneath that skin coating I am progressing and improving!

Because I am feeling comfortable and proud Tuesday was a full of beans and full of energy heading off to the gym on Tuesday morning.

So much so that when my amazing PT was joking around when she suggested I use the leg press with her sitting on it….

I took up the challenge and can proudly say that I can leg press an adult and man did I laugh while doing it! I think everyone in the gym thought we were crazy with the amount of fun and happy noise we were making.

When I got home, I was feeling confident and decided that I would do my first every exposed side my side. I am normally always covered up with the skin hiding but today I am showing my midriff.

So my Tuesday was a great Tuesday yesterday.

Today was my weekly weigh in. My last few weeks have been up and down, up and down and hovering around minimal loss. Today I am elated to have a big number reflected on the scales!

This week – 1.8kg

Total – 88.9kg

Wow just wow…..only 1.1kg off of losing 90kg. I can’t even fathom these changes.

What is one of the most common questions I get asked by people who have not yet had weight loss surgery or who are considering having weight loss surgery?

“Will I ever enjoy food again?”

And the short answer is simple….ABSOLUTELY!!

The long answer is yes you will enjoy food again, but it will not be in the way you have known your entire life.  Your relationship to food will change therefore it’s about developing a new relationship to your thoughts and approach to food to ensure that you continuing enjoying food.

So let me put some context behind this statement and have a discussion about addiction.

Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance or engages in an activity that can be pleasurable but the continuation of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary responsibilities and concerns, such as work, relationships, or health.

Definition sourced from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/addiction

So essentially an addiction is having or doing something that in the short term meets an initial need but in the longer term has a detrimental effect to your life.

So this leads me to one simple conclusion, pre-surgery I was addicted to food.  Eating was an action that I did to meet my immediate need being hunger, boredom or an emotional need.  This eating from addition in the long term had the detrimental effect of my ending up morbidly obese and struggling to cope with going through the motions of everyday life.

If you compare the addiction of food to that of other addictions like smoking, alcohol, drugs or even gambling.  To overcome these addictions you end up eliminating them from your life and living an improved and healthier life without these addiction in your life.  You can easily continue living without these things in your life.  So what about a food addiction?? You can’t eliminate food from your life, you need food to survive.

So if I can’t eliminate food from my life as I need nutrition from food to survive I go back to the original concept of food addressing the short term needs.  So instead of elimination of the problem, why not treat the cause……what is causing the short term need.

It has taken me 14 months to realise this now that I am on “the bench” that food was my comfort. No matter what stresses and external pressure I had happening in my life, the one thing I could always count on to be there was food.  No matter how bad things were the one thing I could control and the one thing that I could count on was that food would always immediately provide me with happiness.  This relationship with food had to change and instead of seeking comfort from food to whatever was going on with life I needed to learn to adjust and accept the situation in less self-destructive ways

My sleeve has not made this change with my thinking.  It’s me…..I have made this change acknowledging that my sleeve has been the catalyst to make the changes I needed to make.

This hasn’t happened overnight as some miracle cure that as a part of removing my stomach that they implanted a chip to fix everything.  This has been evolution where I have become more self-aware of my feelings and emotions.  I have learnt to stop and take time for myself to understand and allow myself to feel whatever I am feeling.  It’s ok to be happy, it’s ok to be sad, it’s ok to be angry, it’s ok to be disappointed and it’s ok the articulate and express these feelings.  What is not ok is for me to suppress these feelings and seek comfort in my old friend food.

My addiction to food may always be in the back of the mind, but I guess in essence I have replaced this addiction.  I am now addicted to myself and now I seek that short term comfort from myself.  To stop and take the time to acknowledge and understand me and my surroundings.  I am worth investing the time in.

What is my point?  My point is that my relationship with food has changed.  I was addicted to food as a self-comforting device.  This couldn’t continue and I am pleased to say that I am well on my way to no longer doing this…..I’m not perfect, it still happens occasionally if I am completely honest with myself.  I used to think that food was my enemy, food was the reason that I was fat BUT no food was not my enemy at all, it was my choices in the way I abused food that was the enemy not the food itself.

So this is where my mentality around food has changed that he been a major catalyst to my success so far.  Food is not my enemy, food is my fuel.  Food is not a treatment to my immediate needs, I am the treatment to my immediate needs.  I need food to fuel my body for it to function, I do not need food for immediate emotional or situational gratification.

My sleeve has obviously supported these changes within myself to address my portion control.  I now see that Percy has limited real estate so I am going to make sure whatever I put in there is the best of the best!! I am going to fill Percy with prime real estate so that I can get all of the fuel, in the form of nutrients, vitamins and minerals, that I need for me to live my life in my new happier and healthier lifestyle.

So I revert back to the original question of will I ever enjoy food again?

In fact I actually enjoy food MORE now than I did pre-surgery.  Food is my friend, it is not my enemy. Food provides me with the fuel and nutrition I need to live and sustain my new happy and active lifestyle.  I am enjoying the flavours, textures and visual appeal of food so much more than pre-surgery.  I am taking the time to appreciate each mouthful, each flavour rather than inhaling massive portions of food to meet my emotional cravings.

So yes, I do enjoy food! I love food, I love the visual appeal, I love the flavour profiles….…post-surgery this love is just served in tea party portions.

Once upon a time there was a young lady name Holly.  She was a bigger girl, she always was a bigger girl, being big was all she had every known!  She owned a set of scales but very rarely, and when I say rarely I mean NEVER, used them because it was honestly too depressing and confronting with that number on the screen.

Holly lived her life until one day she decided enough was enough and it was time to no longer live this ‘big’ life and it was time to regain control of her health and wellbeing.  This meant that she needed to become friends with those damn scales.  To she stepped onto those scales and her heart broke more than a little bit.  She exceeded the maximum weight limit of the scales and she couldn’t use them.

As a result of this she had to buy a second set of scales with a much higher weight limit.

The end

OK, so what is the moral of the story?  The moral of this story is that I own two sets of scales which don’t actually agree with each other.  For my regular weekly weigh in, I do what any sane person would do and use the same set of scales to register my weigh in that gives me the lower number.  These scales routinely weigh in 1.4kg lower than my other set of heavier scales.

In the last week the lighter set of scales have decided that they would like to check out and no longer participate in weigh in, I have replaced the battery in them but they still don’t want to play and as a result have done to scales heaven.

So what does all of this jibber jabber mean…….

Weekly Wednesday Weigh in results!
This week – gain 1kg
Total – 86.9kg

I am not at all upset by this week’s official results of a gain.  Why am I not upset? Firstly, because I have now transitioned to my heavier set of scales so the gain could be attributed to that.  Secondly, because small random gains are a normal part of this process.  This is a rollercoaster ride and in the grand scheme of things I am tracking on a continual downwards trendy with even nearly 14 months post op I am still sitting at the average weekly weight loss of 1.24kg since I first started opti-phase.

So yes I have gained, this isn’t perfect but what about life is perfect every step of the way?? It’s about enjoying and appreciated life as a whole so while I may have gained this week, shit happens! I am not losing any sleep over it, in the grand scheme of things I am still consistently and regularly losing weight and tracking in the direction I want and need to continue.

This won’t stop me, this will in fact keep me motivated and focused to getting to where I want to be. And today where it has me dressed as a Valentine’s Day rose…….

Nuts and Banana Protein Cookies

Makes: 12

Ingredients:

• 1 banana
• 200g smooth natural peanut butter
• 2 scoops (60g) vanilla protein powder
• 1 egg
• 2 tablespoons milk

Method:

• Preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius and line a tray with baking paper
• Break up the banana and mash with a fork, for best result use an “old” banana
• Add in the peanut butter, protein powder and egg mixing well until combined
• Gradually add in the milk until you have a smooth sticky dough, the amount of milk used will vary depending on the viscosity of the peanut butter used
• Spoon 12 even tablespoons of mixture into the baking tray and flatten slightly with the back of a wet spoon
• Bake for 15 minutes, remove from the oven and allow to sit for 10 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Nutritional Value per Cookie:

• Calories: 134
• Total fats: 8.2g
• Total carbohydrates: 4.6g
• Sugars: 2.5g
• Protein: 10g

Recipe Notes:

• Store in an air tight container in the fridge for up to 7 days……if they last that long!!

• This recipe is freezer friendly to be consumed within 6 months

• Protein powder used in the recipe is Protein Supplies Australia WPI Fast Release protein powders

• You can buy online from www.proteinsuppliesaustralia.com.au

• Use the Discount code holly10 at checkout to get a 10% discount

Disclaimer: C4K Kitchen does not hold any responsibility for the consumer using this recipe including the storage guidelines and time frames recommended in the recipe notes. The consumer holds all responsibilities to ensure that food hygiene and safety standards are adhered to.

I have been pondering about writing this post for a while and I have really struggled with how to approach it, but today I have decided that I am going to give it my best shot.

To there is a well known saying that “patience is a virtue” and this is basically the essence of what I want to talk about.

What is patience?

• the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.

What is a virtue?

• behaviour showing high moral standards.

Well I like to believe I have high moral standards BUT it is very very evident that I have limited to absolutely no patience when it comes to this weight loss process.

The capacity to tolerate delay without becoming annoyed or anxious…..this statement is beyond hilarious to me. Hand on my heart I can honestly say I get annoyed or anxious every damn day.

I get annoyed that I am still so far away from my end goal.

I get annoyed that I am enduring so much physical discomfort from the skin and I have to continue to live with it until I get to my end goals.

I get annoyed that my weight loss has slowed, which I acknowledge is normal and that’s fine, but it just makes the end goal seem even that bit further away.

I get anxious that where I want to be almost seems impossible, insurmountable and unachievable.

I get anxious that I will have to live the rest of my days looks like a half melted candle in the shape of ET.

I get annoyed that I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my sleeve life, I love where I am in regards to my improved health, wellbeing and fitness. I’m not doing this post for a pity party, I am doing this post to reflect on what’s going on in my head……

I can reflect with my side my sides to see how far I have come and this fills a with so much pride and so much happiness. Yes I am looking great in comparison to where I started from. BUT my current weight and size is still considered “larger than life” by the general society norms so it’s really difficult for me not to see how far I still have left to go….

I have goals, I am determined, I am focused and all of this thing comes down to one simple thing! I am sooooooo bloody impatient and I want to be there right now. Not this time next year, not at the end of the year, not by my birthday but NOW!

Whyyyyy must I be so impatient??

Quinoa Salad

Makes: 3 bariatric portions

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup quinoa
• 1 cup chicken stock
• 6 cherry tomatoes
• 2 baby cucumber
• 2 spring onions
• 60g diced roast pumpkin
• 1/4 cup shredded fresh herbs
• 30g crumbled feta cheese
• Squeeze lemon juice

Method:

• Place the quinoa and stock with an additional tablespoon of water in a small saucepan with a well sealing lid
• Uncovered bring to the boil
• Once boiling, reduce the heat to a simmer and place the lid on the saucepan and simmer for 15 minutes
• Once the time is up remove from the heat, keep the lid on without opening and sit for a further 10 minutes
• Fluff up with fork before serving
• Chop all remaining ingredients into even soE portions and mix through the quinoa
• Finish with a light squeeze of lemon juice.

Nutritional Value per portion:

• Calories: 103
• Total fats: 3.8g
• Total carbohydrates: 11.7g
• Sugars: 3.3g
• Protein: 5.4g

Recipe Notes:

• Store covered in the fridge for a maximum of 3 days
• This recipe is not freezer friendly

Disclaimer: C4K Kitchen does not hold any responsibility for the consumer using this recipe including the storage guidelines and time frames recommended in the recipe notes. The consumer holds all responsibilities to ensure that food hygiene and safety standards are adhered to.

Thai Chicken

Serves: 4 serves (or 10 bariatric portions)

Paste ingredients:

• 1 small onion, roughly chopped
• 1 long green chilli, roughly chopped
• 4 garlic cloves
• 1cm fresh ginger
• 1 lemongrass stalk
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1/2 teaspoon turmeric
• 3 tablespoons fish sauce
• 3 tablespoons lime juice
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar

Curry ingredients:

• 1/2 tablespoon olive oil
• 500g chicken breast, evenly chopped
• 1 celery stalk, finely chopped
• 1 small onion, finely chopped
• 1 capsicum, thinly sliced
• 2 tomatoes, thinly sliced
• 1 cup green beans, in 1cm pieces
• 400ml light coconut milk
• 2 kaffir lime leaves
• 1/2 cup fresh basil, roughly torn

Method:

• Place all ingredients for the paste into a food processor and blend until smooth, then set aside
• Heat the oil in the base of a heavy based saucepan
• Add the onion and celery and sauté for 1-2 minutes until the onion becomes translucent
• Add in the chicken cook for 2-3 minutes until the chicken is all sealed
• Add in the paste and sauté until the chicken is coated and the paste is aromatic
• Pour in the coconut milk, tomatoes, greens, capsicum and kaffir lime leave, you may need to add a small amount of water to ensure all the chicken is in fluids
• Reduce the heat to a medium low heat. Place a lid on the saucepan and simmer for 15 minutes until the chicken is cooked through, this time may vary depending on how large the chicken pieces are cut.
• Remove from the heat and stir through the basil leaves, allow to sit for 2 minutes to infuse the fresh herbs through the chicken then serve

Nutritional Value per bariatric portion:

• Calories: 105
• Total fats: 3.8g
• Total carbohydrates: 4.8g
• Sugars: 2.5g
• Protein: 12.4g

Recipe Notes:

• Store covered in the fridge for a maximum of 2 days
• This recipe is freezer friendly to be consumed within 6 months
• Left overs make a delicious wonton pie filling

Disclaimer: C4K Kitchen does not hold any responsibility for the consumer using this recipe including the storage guidelines and time frames recommended in the recipe notes. The consumer holds all responsibilities to ensure that food hygiene and safety standards are adhered to.

Thai Beef Sausage Rolls

Makes: 12 portions (or 24 pieces)

Ingredients:

• 3 mountain bread wraps
• 500g lean beef mince
• 1 egg
• 4 garlic cloves, finely chopped
• 1cm fresh ginger, finely chopped
• 1 long red chilli, finely chopped
• 3 spring onions, finely chopped
• 1/2 cup fresh coriander, shredded (stem included)
• 2 scoops (60g) pure protein powder
• 2 tablespoons fish sauce
• 2 tablespoons sweet chilli sauce
• 1 tablespoon lime juice
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon sesame oil
• 2 teaspoons sesame seeds

Method:

• Preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius and line a tray with baking paper
• Cut the mountain breads into half to have two even sized portions and set aside covered with a tea towel so they don’t dry out
• Place all ingredients except the sesame seeds in a mixing bowl and use your hands to mix well
• Divide the mixture into 6 equal portions
  Using 1 half of a wrap evenly spread 1 portion of the meat filling down the slightly off centre down the middle of the wrap in a sausage shape
• Fold the smaller portion over the meat
• Brush the other side with egg wash before folding over to complete the sausage roll
• Place on the baking tray with the seal side down
• https://c4kkitchen.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/img_7286.trim_.mov
• Repeat with the remaining mountain bread and portions of filling
• Brush the tops of the sausage rolls with egg wash and sprinkle with the sesame seeds
• Bake in the pre-heated oven for 20-25 minutes
• Allow to cool for 10 minutes on the tray before cutting each roll into 4 even pieces.
• 1 bariatric portions is 2 pieces.

Nutritional Value per bariatric portion:

• Calories: 118
• Total fats: 3.7g
• Total carbohydrates: 6.7g
• Sugars: 2.6g
• Protein: 15.8g

Recipe Notes:

• Egg washed used to seal and brush the tops is not included in the recipe or the nutritional value
• Store covered in the fridge for a maximum of 3 days
• This recipe is freezer friendly to be consumed within 6 months
• Protein powder used in the recipe is Protein Supplies Australia WPI Fast Release protein powders
• You can buy online from www.proteinsuppliesaustralia.com.au
• Use the Discount code holly10 at checkout to get a 10% discount
• Also delicious served cold

Disclaimer: C4K Kitchen does not hold any responsibility for the consumer using this recipe including the storage guidelines and time frames recommended in the recipe notes. The consumer holds all responsibilities to ensure that food hygiene and safety standards are adhered to.