Today I want to talk and reflect upon something that has been a critical part of my success so far……strong support networks! These support networks for me come from many places and I want to take a bit of time to stop, discuss and most importantly acknowledge all of my support networks!

Firstly to two of my three biggest supports!! Jamie and Lachlan. These two males in my life are my humility, my reason, my motivation and my rational! While I know it is difficult for Jamie to see the changes in me as he sees me everyday and being the bean pole that he is he doesn’t understand the reality of struggles with weight. But I am so grateful for the ongoing support he gives me everyday. Supporting me to have the freedom to go to the gym most nights, letting me spend up on new clothes, protein powders and now new shoes as my feet have shrunk. For putting up with my mood swings when I don’t listen to my body telling me I need calories or fluid and for more importantly telling me everyday how well I am doing and how proud he is of me! He might not be the most verbal with his feelings but he is really one of my biggest supporters! And Lachlan…..well he is just there to make me laugh and appreciate life everyday! How could I not want to do everything within my control to be the best mum possible I can be.

My next biggest supporter has three letters to her name…. M U M

My beautiful mummy dearest! This woman is one hell of a woman, she is strong, she is determine, she is dedicated, she is loving, she is loyal, she is supportive, she is motivating and she is just damn well bloody awesome! I could not and would not be where I am in this journey without the constant love and support from my mum. Whether it be her cheeky remarks on my old “basketball head” or calling me a female shrek transformed, coming to the gym tackling the “torture chamber” with me or just a beautiful little text message on the side with a heart telling me she is proud of me calling me a weight loss machine. My mum is an incredible woman and I can only hope that one day I am half of a good mum to Lachlan as she is to me! She supports and loves me unconditionally and I truly hope from the bottom of my heart that she is proud of what I have achieved and will continue to achieve.

My next biggest support network is my amazing group of friends! I may not have an endless number of close friends that I used to have when I was younger BUT the ones that I do have I would not trade in for a heartbeat! They are my biggest fans and biggest supporters. It’s so bizarre when we look at my before and after photos together they nearly all make comment that they don’t ever remember me looking like I did in “before”. And that’s when I know they love me for me as a person and not for superficial reasons. They are all so supportive and understanding to my new dietary changes when we go out, come to the gym and planning to do other work outs together, embracing my new wardrobe and helping me step out of my comfort zone trying on new clothes in new styles I would have never considered before. I am so grateful to have such an amazing group of ladies and gentlemen in my life that are supporting me with every change I make, complimenting me on the progressing and cheering me on at every goal I reach. I know it’s hard for them as they don’t understand all facets of what I am going through as none of them are larger than life BUT they are doing their damn best to be cheerleaders for me and it makes my heart smile!

My work colleagues! I love my work ladies (and a couple gents). I really do work with an amazing bunch of people. Originally I was going to a secret sleever but this became evidently difficult when you work in the health department, you lose a lot of weight very quick and you very obviously have had a complete dietary overhaul after a long stint away from work. Every Wednesday they ask about my weigh in results, they celebrate the little wins along the way, they compliment me on all my new outfits and emerging style, they unnecessarily try and hide their “regular people” food choices from me so not to flaunt it in my face and they try my new wacky protein pimped food when I bring it in to share. The put up with my weird and random belly noises and reactions from eating in the form of hiccups and burps, they put up with my grumpy moods, they tell me to pull my head in when I’m carrying in like a drama queen, they tell me to take my vitamins and to go and have another glass of water. And most importantly they know the way to my heart is to keep my suitably full off coffee!! These people aren’t only my colleagues they are also my friends and I’m grateful that they are there to support me along the way since we spent so much time together!

I am also a member of multiple sleeve and bariatric Facebook support groups and I really enjoy being an active member in this social media support network. The WLS world is very unique and it’s often difficult to understand and explain what is going on in your world but in this WLS social media community these other sleeve brother and sisters…they really get it. While in some of the bigger groups you can get some judgmental keyboard warriors and trolls that is what it is and I have no problems ignoring that, at the end of the day it’s Facebook and to be expected! I am in some little groups where I am a lot more active in my involvement and conversations. I can freely open up to what I am thinking and feeling and have people completely understand what I mean. I don’t tell people what to do and others don’t tell me what to do but we share our experiences and learning along the way as it may help each other on our own path. We acknowledge each other’s successes and victories no matter how big or small they are without any jealous or judgement and only with support, appreciation and pride. In these small forums I can comfortable openly discussing very private things that I don’t freely discuss in my “real” world as simply….they get it. I’m sure they get sick of my random chatter, endless selfies and me being the self appointed poo police but I am so lucky that they are always received with joy, support and positivity.

Some of these beautiful women are also so gracious, generous and kind and go as far as posting me bags and bags of clothes that they no longer need as they are too big for them. I now have a full wardrobe in both my current size and for the next size down. I am so very grateful for all these beautiful pieces of clothes that I have been and will continue to wear with pride. When I wear them I feel a little bit special and it warms my heart knowing that I am wearing a little bit of love from a kind hearted and like minded soul. Wearing clothes that I haven’t tried on before is always slightly scary as you are wearing different styles and shapes that you may not be used to but so far I have really liked every piece I have been gifted and nights like tonight I try on something that is a different style that I look at myself and think WOW look at that developing and defined waist!

To my blog followers! This one is for you……I often wonder who would take the time out of their day to read my random ramblings and unloading of my brain daily as I really don’t see myself as that interesting or exciting. Honestly I do this diary as much for myself to help process and articulate what I am thinking and feeling.  I do also help to support others on a similar path and to share my journey and to help understand what’s going on in my little brain. I am truly honoured and humbled by the supportive comments, encouragement and motivation I get from all the posts, likes and private messages I get from people. I never claimed and never will claim to be a WLS expert who has all the answers but I am happy to share my experience….the good, the bad, the ugly and the amazing with others if it will help make their day a little bit easier. Sometimes it’s difficult for me to open up and share the not always favourable parts of this crazy ride but I know that this needs to be real and it’s not always rainbows and lollipops (sugar free lollipops of course) and that it’s just as important to share my vulnerable and down moments too. The motivation and words of inspiration that I get from all my followers really is a huge support to me and I am so grateful that I have made the choice to open up my journey and that all these amazing cheerleaders have come into my life to help keep me positive and focused!

The last and final acknowledgement I think deserve a comment in this post is the person looking back at me in the mirror. I never knew that I had the strength, courage and commitment to do what I have done. I didn’t know that I could look in the mirror (clothed of course) and like and be comfortable with what I see. I didn’t know that I was struggling coping with life at my biggest and how much better things are now. I have always been comfortable with me as a person and now I am really learning to be comfortable within my skin now too. I feel like that person in the mirror is my alter ego that is supporting me in continuing to strive to achieve. I feel like every face off that I do my confidence grows a little more!

So I guess the whole point of this post is to first and most importantly acknowledge and thank all the fantastic support networks that I have in my life but to to say to anyone else on this same WLS journey make sure you surround yourself by positive and supportive people and don’t forget that the person in the mirror will be your best support of all!

It’s weigh in Wednesday again, I know I say this every week but it really does come around so quickly every week!

The last week has not been great for me as the little guy has been very unsettled which has severely effected his sleep. Instead of waking every night for an hour he’s been waking multiple times for at least an hour each or the ultimate of the ultimate was last night when he was awake for 5 hours! I have been snacking during this middle of the night stints, admittedly I’m making healthier snacking choices however it’s not normally food that I would be having post sleeve. This made me exceptional nervous for today’s weigh in as I know I haven’t been making the best choices and haven’t been as disciplined as I should be.

I’m not making excuses for my choices, they are my choices that I probably shouldn’t be making but I am acknowledging them and now going to refocus and start focusing on better choices!

Having said all of that I am pleasantly surprised that despite this I have still managed a decent loss this week.

This week – 0.9kg

Since surgery – 57.2kg

Total – 76.1kg

My day started heading off to the GP. I needed to get a couple skin irritations looked at, both as a result of my surgery. I haven’t seen my GP since about February, she didn’t recognise me in the change room and was completely floored with my changes to the point of my making me do a twirl to “check me out”. It’s so nice to have my health care provider getting visibly choked up and teary with how proud she is of me and how far I have come.

The first skin issue is related to my super woman skin cape (aka all my excess skin).  Particularly my belly button but also my under my apron where my pelvis is I am having skin irritations that are red raw, swollen and with a revolting slight infection. I have been keeping it dry as possible with corn flour and using anti-fungal creams to try and combat/ manage things in collaboration with really tight undergarments to try and keep things where they should be BUT it’s just not keeping the irritation contained. She has prescribed me an anti-bacterial cream with steroids in it to use 2 times a day to try and keep things under control before they get even worse. And I have to learn to manage accordingly as we all know it’s going to get much worse before it gets better!!

The second skin issue is predominately on my pinky and in the join between my second and third finger and now has also spread to above and below my lip. I have developed dermatitis, this is something I have never experienced in my life until now. My little finger is by far the worst, to the point it’s cracked and at times bleeding. My GP told me off for leaving it so long to have it looked at to the point it’s now slightly infected. In my defence who on earth goes to the doctor for a sore little finger!!

So I have a steroid laden dermatitis cream to use on the area twice a day and I need to sleep with my hand wrapped in glad wrap to keep the area moist to help promote recovery as soon as possible. Back in a couple weeks to get it checked out and make sure it’s suitably healing or I will need a referral to a dermatologist for review.

Today was a designer day for me! For the first time in my entire life I have worn designer label clothes. Thanks to an extremely kind and generous heart of another sleever who has posted me some absolutely stunning Calvin Klein dresses that are too big for her. I am so very grateful to her generosity! I finished the gorgeous dress off with another re-homed cardigan from another dear friend who has also shared some of her clothes that are too big for her.

So here is me in my designer Calvin Klein dress….

Feeling good and feeling confident within myself but I am not gonna lie, it’s nice to hear the mountain of compliments that I got today!

First official day of the school holidays since yesterday was a public holiday. Being my regular Tuesday off I was home with the little guy and I also looked after our closest friends little guy today too.

They had a great day together but it was hard work. Somehow I still managed to cook 3 dinner, pack 3 lunchboxes for tomorrow, cleaned and mopped the bathroom, vacuumed all the floors, did a couple loads of washing, did some weeding all while looking these two dear little men…..feeling somewhat like a super hero mum today and in the process I have discovered that I already have an inbuilt cape. In the form of excess skin!!

Even if I did forget to have lunch myself and quickly had to put something together at 2pm to fuel my body.

I am fair active in the weight loss/ Bariatric/ gastric sleeve social media forums and I see at least daily posts from other members about their disappointment with their weight loss or people calling themselves “slow losers”. These posts make me a combination of sad and frustrated so I just feel like I want to share my learning along the way that may help others in new ways of looking at their journey.

This is my key advice points for any WLS patient:

– Rome wasn’t built in a day…..it took us a very long time years and years to get us to the point of needing WLS. WLS is not an instant fix and it’s going to take time to reverse our situations

– your journey is your journey and yours alone, don’t compare to others. Yes they may have similar stats to you BUT do they have the same DNA construct as you, co-morbidities as you, lifestyle situation as you…..unless it’s your identical twin probably not so you’re comparing apples to oranges

– a loss is a loss and as big or as small as your loss if then you’re that loss closer to your end goal than you were yesterday

– if you didn’t have WLS what would have your weight done? Either remained the same or even gained….

– stay focused, stay positive – always remember why you made the decisions you did to have WLS

– break down your total weight loss into small achievable goals along the way so you can small achievable goals in front of you and not the big daunting task in front of you

– don’t forget that WLS is a tool to change your life, you change your life not your surgery…..you get out of it what you put into it

– remember that dreaded weight is only one measure of your progress, there are so many more measure than kg alone

– celebrate the NSV or little wins on the way, it’s so important to stop and acknowledge the improvements in your life

– be kind to yourself and be proud of what your working to achieve and what you have achieved already! Making the decision to improve your health and wellbeing alone is something to be proud of!

Anyway, just wanted to put this out and hopefully one person can resonate with this post and they can start feeling most positive and proud of their changes……whatever the numbers say!

Last night was another brutal night with the little guy who decided that last night party time went from 12.30-6am. Started my days with 3 hours and 48 minutes sleep and a double shot protein iced coffee.

The day started pretty sluggish and it took me a while to get going but managed to drag myself to the gym reluctantly at about 2pm and did an hour of cardio.

When I got home I had a random burst of energy and decided that while the sun was shining I would get some of this vitamin D that I am low on into me and got stuck into some gardening and when I say gardening I mean heavy duty weeding for the first time post-winter

I also de-weeded the the veggie patch and planted some more seedlings. I now have tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, capsicums, zucchini and watermelons planted. I am THE worlds worst gardener but let’s see if I can keep these plants alive to at least see one of each grow!

Much to my surprise the 50 minutes of gardening was quiet the little workout on its own burning 612 calories in the process!

While I was doing this gardening I also was multi-tasking like a boss cooking a roast at the same time. My favourite of all time favourite roasts is roast pork belly. I have tried it a couple times post-op and every time it has ended very badly in “dump-town” but today I celebrate a food NSV in that I ate my tea party roast pork belly……AND IT STAYED DOWN!!

And then finished off my delicious meal with another new recipe creation of some protein biscotti.

So while I had a crappy night and a slow start to my day I had a super productive and delicious day!