13 July, 2018
WHMP: 13 July 2018
It has been more than a long time between my When Holly Met Percy official blog posts. While being daily active on both my Facebook and Instagram platforms, I haven’t actually done a blog post and well frankly that has been a lot going on in the last few months.
My last blog post was 17 May (wow I didn’t think it was THAT long ago), so lets start off with the stats! Since my last post I have lost another 3.9kg taking me to a grand total of exactly 95kg lost. I have lost another 11cm off my 6 body measure points.
Since my last post I have had my second plastics appointment and have my apronectomy date schedule for 26 July 2018…..that is ONLY 13 DAYS AWAY say whattttttttttttttttttttt
So what is an apronectomy? This isn’t a tummy tuck or lower body lift of any type, I’m not yet suitable for either of these procedures as I am not at goal weight nor am I stable. An apronectomy is simply put a bandaid procedure that is in rare occasions offered to people who have lost extreme amounts of weight and who are experiencing life altering side effects as a result of the excess skin. It is simply skin removal of all the excess skin and stitching me back together again. There is not aesthesis work and/or body contouring, it is simply removing the apron which is what is causing me the aches, pains, rashes, infections, smells and mental health issues that is associated with looking like an ET shaped candle that has melted.
The extraction of the excess skin will allow me to physically remove this drag and burden from my body to enable me to push hard, exercise harder and restart my weight loss to help use as a tool, similar to my sleeve, to help me achieve and reach my goals. This apronectomy will be the first of three rounds of plastic and reconstructive surgery that I will need to consider. Once I get to goal weight and I am stable I will then be considered for the next two round. Round 2 would be; a full tummy tuck and the extraction of V2 (aka vagina 2, aka excess thigh skin that hangs and sits just above my knees like a second vagina). Round 3 would be; bat wing extraction and the removal of windsock to that will be relocated back to “boob town” territory.
To get myself ready for my apronectomy, also known as Bertha’s eviction notice I have put myself on a mission to get myself into the best possible condition to be a successful candidate for surgery. I want to get myself in the best possible condition. For the last 17 days and right up until the day before surgery I am committed to be my best with goals of; 3 meals and 3 snacks a day that are high protein, low carb and low sugar. Incorporating more vegetables into my diet. Minimum of 1.8L of fluid a day. High intensity workout a minimum of 4 times per week. I have been keeping myself accountable posting on all my social media platform a daily check in against my goals. So far so good. I have also stopped weighing in while doing this as I want to be driven by my goals and NOT driven by the number on the scales.
What else has been happening? I was approached about having a media article written about it. This was a very difficult decision for me to make. I know the world of social media can be a cruel and unrelenting place full or judgemental keyboard warriors or trolls and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for this level of personal judgement about mu situation, particularly since I have never openly declared my starting weight within any of my platforms.
BUT I decided to take the plunge for one reason and one reason only. I want my story to be the inspiration and hope for JUST ONE person out in the big wide world. I want my story to be the catalyst for that one person to say wow this lady can do it starting at 208.2kg then you know what I can do it to. If by completely exposing myself and all my flaws I can provide that ONE PERSON with hope then my own insecurities and fear are completely irrelevant and it was completely worth it. I am worth it and I want that ONE PERSON to believe that they are worth it to.
So here is the information I have so carefully guarded for the last 18 months. Today I am publically declaring on my blog at the start of my journey I was 208.2kg, off the chart Class 3 morbidly obese and too heavy to be registered on the scales at a bariatric clinic.
And here are the links to the media articles that have been published about me and my story.
The Australian one
The UK one
So a lot has happened in the last couple months which is why I have been on the quiet side. The emotional and mental part of my weight loss journey has been the ongoing rollercoaster of highs and lows. On a positive note, I am starting to see the physical changes within myself and I am starting to see what people have been trying to tell me for a long time. I am starting to see a happy, healthy, confident, pretty and lady.
I am starting to see a jawline.
I am starting to see fitness and strength.
I am starting to see someone who has the ability to dress the way I like that (well that I think) is fashionable and NOT just wear things simply because they fit.
I am starting to see a smile and love for life that I forget existed.
But when it comes to the apronectomy I am a little bit more conflicted. Anyone who has been following me knows that I despise Bertha with a intense fashion and I am excited to get rid of her and to say goodbye to the physical and mental drag that comes with the excess skin. BUT to completely contradict that I am scared.
Really bloody scared!!! I am not scared of the surgery, not in the slightest – if something was going to go wrong it would have been when I was unhealthy and couldn’t sleep without oxygen support through a CPAP and not now I am fit and healthy. I am scared that when I wake up I still aren’t going to be happy with what I see. I am scared that I am not going to know myself and I’m not going to recognise myself. I have been big, overweight, fat, larger than life my entire adult life and I don’t know how to function as anything other than a plus sized person. I am horrified at the thought of going home and leaving part of my being at the hospital…..IN A BIN! I am scared that by having Bertha cut off it will take away that obvious physical side effect to show that I have worked hard and that I’m not longer a work in progress.
I am not scared of the surgery, I am not scared about the recovery – I realise it’s going to hurt like a bitch but that’s only temporary. I am scared that I am not going to know who I am as a person anymore. I know this sounds ridiculous as it’s just skin that’s been cut from my frame that I don’t need anymore. Similar to toenail clippings or hair when you get a haircut – the surplus gets thrown away without a second thought BUT this is a big deal for me.
What will I look like after? What size will I be? This one is a big one for me given I started crying in the underwear section of Kmart as I didn’t know what size or type of knickers to buy when my entire life I have spent wearing suck me in spanx shapewear or bonds cotton tails (aka circus tent style). And while all of this may seem trivial and I know it will be ok – these are all the things that are going on in my brain.
I am also nervous about how I am going to cope without the mental and emotional stress release and the very small amount of “me” time I have at the gym. During recovery I will be away from the gym for 5-6 weeks and since I go anywhere between 4-6 times a week, this is extremely scary for me to think how I will find a new release for myself.
So there you go. This is the ramblings of what I have been up for the last couple months. Lost some more weight, have some surgery booked and I have cried in public over knickers……
I will be going back to posting more regularly in the days leading into my surgery and during the recovery period, so if you’re interested. Stay tuned!