24 June, 2017
WHMP: 24 June 2017
After a good last week feeling happy, content and confident. Last night was a very bad night with the little guy meaning I had less than four hours of broken sleep and while enduring a challenging night I found that I was so bad with my food. Over indulging and making bad choices 😖
This morning I woke up and I am feeling like and emotional and overwhlemed hot mess. Trying to explain how I feel is a difficult thing to do as all I can come up with is overwhelmed and stressed. I am feeling full of self doubt, stress and guilt about so many different things.
Guilty about my capacity within my schedule to exercise not being as much as it should be. Guilty about letting people down and feeling like a hypocrite for my bad food choices. Feeling like a bad mum for putting me first. Feeling like an even worse mum for having no patience from lack of sleep. I have a crazy stressful workload in my job at the moment.
Essentially I am feeling so overwhelmed with everything going on at the moment and I feel like I need a pause button to life so I can stop and take a breathe.
I put in a mercy call to one of my best friends to see if she was free for a catch up. We went to the playground with the boys so they could have a play and a ride in their bikes.
She actually didn’t recognise me when I arrived after not seeing me for a couple months. Sometimes having some girl time with someone who loves you and knows you better than you know yourself is what you need to recharge the batteries.
It’s also nice to have her give me a cuddle and actually have her arms fully fit around me.
I am still feeling stressed and overwhelmed but I’m feeling like it’s ok and to keep on going on. Get through this day and lean on my support network when I need it. I don’t have to do this on my own or be a concrete robotic perfect woman woman…..I am still human!
