13 October, 2017

WHMP: 13 October 2017

Comments : 2 Posted in : When Holly Met Percy on October 13, 2017 by : C4Kkitchen Tags: #c4kgoesbariatric, #whenhollymetpercy

Today marks 12 marks since I first started this crazy journey. This day last year was the day I had my first appointment with Lilian and I remember it was like yesterday……

I was so excited and full of hope about starting this new and exciting process going into my first appointment, with my Mum in tow for moral support. I knew my private health insurance waiting period was about to expire on 6th November and I had it all worked out in my head. Off I could go to this appointment and she would say yep – your fat (obviously politely), yep – you need surgery and hey presto I would get a surgery date. I could not have possibly been more wrong!

It all started with that first horrific weigh in. And while every weigh in is daunting, this was completely demoralising and soul crushing! I was so heavy that my weight did not even register on their scales. I had to waddle my way over to the complete opposite side of the hospital to find a set of scales that actually registered my starting weight. Finally waddled my way back and was slightly out of breathe but still glad to meet Lilian and get things rolling.

This is when all my intentions of how the appointment would go went completely out the window. Lilian advised that I was too heavy for the equipment to safely complete the surgery laparoscopically and I that I needed to lose 20kg before I was able to be considered for surgery.

I was completely shattered. How on earth was I supposed to lose 20kg (44lbs) at all let alone 20kg quickly – if I could lose 20kg that easily I wouldn’t be here and making this decision to have this drastic but life changing surgery.

I got my way through the appointment with a lot of tears and emotions and I was so glad to have my mum there despite the fact she had no idea what to do with me to ease my distress.

Once I got home that is when the reality of everything really set in and I was a blubbering hysterical mess. I sat on the floor in the corner of my kitchen and i didn’t cry…..I bawled like a baby for an hour! I felt like I was beyond hope, I was beyond being about to turn my life around, I was a lost cause and I was destined to be this large, unhealthy and miserable with my physical being for the rest of my days and I was just going to continually deteriorate with the co-morbidities of being so large and unhealthy.

I went to bed early a tired and emotional wreck who felt shattered and hopeless with a gigantic stress headache!

Fast forward 365 days, minus 76.6kg (169lb) this is me today……