11 February, 2018
WHMP: 11 February 2018
I have been pondering about writing this post for a while and I have really struggled with how to approach it, but today I have decided that I am going to give it my best shot.
To there is a well known saying that “patience is a virtue” and this is basically the essence of what I want to talk about.
What is patience?
- the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.
What is a virtue?
- behaviour showing high moral standards.
Well I like to believe I have high moral standards BUT it is very very evident that I have limited to absolutely no patience when it comes to this weight loss process.
The capacity to tolerate delay without becoming annoyed or anxious…..this statement is beyond hilarious to me. Hand on my heart I can honestly say I get annoyed or anxious every damn day.
I get annoyed that I am still so far away from my end goal.
I get annoyed that I am enduring so much physical discomfort from the skin and I have to continue to live with it until I get to my end goals.
I get annoyed that my weight loss has slowed, which I acknowledge is normal and that’s fine, but it just makes the end goal seem even that bit further away.
I get anxious that where I want to be almost seems impossible, insurmountable and unachievable.
I get anxious that I will have to live the rest of my days looks like a half melted candle in the shape of ET.
I get annoyed that I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my sleeve life, I love where I am in regards to my improved health, wellbeing and fitness. I’m not doing this post for a pity party, I am doing this post to reflect on what’s going on in my head……
I can reflect with my side my sides to see how far I have come and this fills a with so much pride and so much happiness. Yes I am looking great in comparison to where I started from. BUT my current weight and size is still considered “larger than life” by the general society norms so it’s really difficult for me not to see how far I still have left to go….
I have goals, I am determined, I am focused and all of this thing comes down to one simple thing! I am sooooooo bloody impatient and I want to be there right now. Not this time next year, not at the end of the year, not by my birthday but NOW!
Whyyyyy must I be so impatient??