3 August, 2017
WHMP: 3 August 2017
I promised myself that I would do a daily journal entry every day for one full year post sleeve. Today is the first day that I have regretted making this promise to myself as in all honestly I would much rather crawl up in the corner under a blanket and keep crying rather than do this post.
So this one is going to be short and to the point as I’m in a dark miserable place at the moment and not feeling like sharing my journey or my story.
I had my endoscopy today and a long story short the endoscopy came back with everything being normal. So my anxiety and fears have come to fruition, I have gone through a day surgery procedure and I am non the wiser or not even any suggestions as to why I am suffering this constant pain and these random acute episodes of pain.
I have a follow up with Lilian (my sleeve surgeon) in her outpatients clinic in a fortnights time. I am so scared about having to endure this awful pain for another fortnight.
I am not in the best mindset. I am tired, I am sore, I am sad, I am frustrated, I am doubting myself and I’m doubting that any of the clinicians believe or care about the levels of pain that I am experiencing.
I am trying to stay positive and tell myself that everything happens for a reason but in all honesty it’s just not working. I’m feeling down and out in every possible way and I want to curl up in a ball and cry under a blanket until this pain goes away for good.
5 thoughts
Oh holly.. Am so sorry that they were unable to find a cause today.. My heart is with you xxx
Thanks Jo x
Oh Holly, I am so sorry that you still have no answer. Didn’t Lilian give you any idea? Two weeks seemsan awfully long time to wait for a follow up. I’m thinking of you sweetheart and wishing you well. I so hope these pain episodes get less and less. Sending lots of lvecand hugs your way.xxxxxx😘😘😘😘
Chin up Hun, this is something that is happening to you, as it happened to me. It is not the whole of you.
Like it did for me it will pass, but take control and don’t let the pain be everything. It is painful, it is frustrating, it is scary, but you are bigger than it and you can manage it rather than it manage you!
In a few days, a few months, it will be gone and you will be wiser for it, and better for it. (and smaller!)
So sorry, Holly, you poor darling. I wish there was something I could do for you. Maybe you need a colonoscopy as well?? Keep up the fluids and the drugs, stay warm, and get back to the doc asap. Take care. 🌸❤️💐💐❤️🌸